The Church of Patches welcomes converts

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  • Arogntbastrd
    Arogntbastrd Posts: 1,009 Chairperson of the Boards
    You know what you are? You're like a wolverine with claws and with fangs... big claws. And mpq's just like this little bunny, who's just kinda cowering in the corner. Shivering. You know, you got these claws and you're staring at these claws and your thinking to yourself, and with these claws you're thinking, "How am I supposed to kill this bunny, how am I supposed to kill this bunny?"

    And you're poking at it, you're poking at it... You're not hurting it. You're just kinda gently batting the bunny around, you know what I mean? And the bunny's scared, the bunny's scared of you, shivering. And you got these claws and these fangs... And you're looking at your claws and you're looking at your fangs. And you're thinking to yourself, you don't know what to do, man. "I don't know how to kill the bunny." With *this* you don't know how to kill the bunny, do you know what I mean?

    Join Ace of Blades and together we will kill all the bunnies! We'll loot the towns, take the gold, kill the bunnies. Oh it'll be glorious. They'll write songs about you. The children will dress like you for Halloween and the women! The women will tell tales of the unexpected sensitivity you possess.

    If you feel you have what it takes come seek counsel. PM myself and vudu3. Face the trials, the swimsuit contest, the paddling of the swollen buttocks... With paddles! Not all are worthy to unsheath thy claws in the name of The Best There Is but all brothers and sisters are welcome to bathe in the warm glow of spilled blood and fine champanya.

    Patch be with you
  • WilsonFisk
    WilsonFisk Posts: 365 Mover and Shaker
    Too wordy, try this

    PicsArt_1410484750547_zpsn0w52gdo.jpg
  • vudu3
    vudu3 Posts: 940 Critical Contributor
    There's no U in Arogntbastrd.
  • Arogntbastrd
    Arogntbastrd Posts: 1,009 Chairperson of the Boards
    WilsonFisk wrote:
    Too wordy, try this

    PicsArt_1410484750547_zpsn0w52gdo.jpg

    Damn it Wilson, that is better. Sigh...

    I don't do training sessions, but friendly advice is always free. Free advice of the day, while a scoop of assault will help you power through your last hour pve grind, if you need to go to sleep after it's not the best idea. When you need the pump without the caffeine I recommend noxivol. And always kick back some BCAAs after a series of shield hops
    vudu3 wrote:
    There's no U in Arogntbastrd.

    Words hurt dudes
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    Hey Arogntbastrd and vudu3, I would pm both of you but I'm m too much of a noob on here so it won't let me.

    Are you in an alliance now? If so why do you want to leave?
    Not currently, left when my buddy Sean told me to request a spot in your alliance.

    How many pts are you averaging in pvp? How many season pts do you currently have?

    Normally between 800-900, but points are becoming easier with the improvement if my team.
    Total around 6k

    What's your go to team? What's your roster progress so far?

    Been liking Robin Hood, Captain America, and X-Force Wolverine

    What's your preferred patch build and why?

    This last patch, made X-force Wolverine actually good.

    Are you a jerk?

    Nope

    Are you chatty?

    Not normally

    If you were stranded on an island with a pocket knife and 38 origami swans (one of which wants to kill you) what else would you like to have?

    A pretty lady there with me! Need something to help pass the time.
  • vudu3
    vudu3 Posts: 940 Critical Contributor
    BrettRR wrote:
    What's your go to team? What's your roster progress so far?

    Been liking Robin Hood, Captain America, and X-Force Wolverine
    Robin Hood? This made me face palm so hard. Things are not going well for you so far ....
    BrettRR wrote:
    What's your preferred patch build and why?

    This last patch, made X-force Wolverine actually good.
    AB and I discussed this at length and we're not sure if you misunderstood the question or if we misunderstood the joke. icon_e_smile.gif
    BrettRR wrote:
    Are you a jerk?

    Nope
    Prove it.
    BrettRR wrote:
    Are you chatty?

    Not normally
    Despite your lack of chattiness, can you expand on this answer? In your old alliance did you participate in chat every day? Every week? Every hour? Do you only chime in to answer a question / share roster advice or do you post when you just had a great token pull or saw someone on the street do a rad kick flip?
    BrettRR wrote:
    If you were stranded on an island with a pocket knife and 38 origami swans (one of which wants to kill you) what else would you like to have?

    A pretty lady there with me! Need something to help pass the time.
    Does this pretty lady know karate? If not, this does not address the issue of the killer origami swan.
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    vudu3 wrote:
    >
    BrettRR wrote:
    What's your go to team? What's your roster progress so far?
    >
    > Been liking Robin Hood, Captain America, and X-Force Wolverine
    > Robin Hood? This made me face palm so hard. Things are not going well for you so
    > far ....
    >
    Yeah that didn't look the best.... The Hood... lol

    >
    BrettRR wrote:
    What's your preferred patch build and why?
    >
    > This last patch, made X-force Wolverine actually good.
    > AB and I discussed this at length and we're not sure if you misunderstood the question
    > or if we misunderstood the joke. icon_e_smile.gif
    >
    Nah just misunderstood your question, at first glace thought you were asking about game patches.... As of right now I only have 2 green,1 red, and 3 yellow. Looking forward to getting more covers to max him out. Love his auto healing.

    >
    BrettRR wrote:
    Are you a jerk?
    >
    > Nope
    > Prove it.
    >
    I haven't called anyone an **** yet.

    >
    BrettRR wrote:
    Are you chatty?
    >
    > Not normally
    > Despite your lack of chattiness, can you expand on this answer? In your old alliance
    > did you participate in chat every day? Every week? Every hour? Do you only chime
    > in to answer a question / share roster advice or do you post when you just had a
    > great token pull or saw someone on the street do a rad kick flip?
    >
    Maybe a few times per week, have a busy schedule at school. But would definitely have to tell someone about the kick flip!

    >
    BrettRR wrote:
    If you were stranded on an island with a pocket knife and 38 origami
    > swans (one of which wants to kill you) what else would you like to have?
    >
    > A pretty lady there with me! Need something to help pass the time.
    > Does this pretty lady know karate? If not, this does not address the issue of the
    > killer origami swan.

    Not just karate... she practices mma!
  • Arogntbastrd
    Arogntbastrd Posts: 1,009 Chairperson of the Boards
    I was trying to think of a great recruitment pitch but I realized I wasn't going to be able to top Wilson Phillips' stirring call to arms.
    WilsonFisk wrote:
    PicsArt_1410484750547_zpsn0w52gdo.jpg

    Let's see what else I can plagiarize... Ooh this will do nicely
    vudu3 wrote:
    Ace of Blades is looking for one permanent member. Currently ranked 15th in anniversary week.

    Requirements--

    1. Must be a cool guy/gal. Mean people need not apply.
    2. Must be able to score 800+ in PVP all/most of the time.
    3. Must be able to score 1,000+ in PVP when you want to. You don't need to do it every time but we want someone who is capable of scoring at least 1,000 points in PVP.
    4. Must be able to contribute to PVE all/most of the time.

    Send a PM to Arogntbastrd and myself if interested.

    Also if you join van damme will give you chocolate and maybe touch you. You can't say no to that, why try? Bonus points if you're a lady, I promised colt I'd get her another girl at some point. So **** not required but they help which is true of life in general

    funny-gif-images-2.jpg
  • Arogntbastrd
    Arogntbastrd Posts: 1,009 Chairperson of the Boards
    Last call for free she hulk covers. 2 temp spots if anyone wants to join just for this event. We'll prob be top 25 even if we don't pick anyone up so not really concerned about placement. PM me if you want in and I'll open a spot for you
  • Arogntbastrd
    Arogntbastrd Posts: 1,009 Chairperson of the Boards
    We have a member that will be out for 2-3 pvps. Please pm vudu3 and myself if youre interested in a temp slot
  • Arogntbastrd
    Arogntbastrd Posts: 1,009 Chairperson of the Boards
    Temp spot no longer open but we have a member whos playing casually and willing to give his slot if we find someone whos a good fit.

    For those that dont remember us anymore we're ace of blades. Top 10 alliance seasons 1-4. Top 15 alliance seasons 5-7. Sure we've gotten a bit lazy as we've abused cigars and fine champanya but what you may see as lazy we see as efficient!

    Please see above for more info regarding what we're looking for

    Due to ncaa regulations we can only provide either the training sessions, the jcvd caresses, or the chocolate. No longer all three. As part of your application process we'll need to know which youd prefer and why.
  • vudu3
    vudu3 Posts: 940 Critical Contributor
    This sounds nice. Please tell me more about this great alliance that surely everyone will want to be a part of.
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    Kids today just don't know.
  • Arogntbastrd
    Arogntbastrd Posts: 1,009 Chairperson of the Boards
    Well im glad you asked, stranger from the audience that ive never met.

    Here at ace of blades we are everything any other alliance has said they are, but better! The only exceptions being the 14 alliances that typically score more than us. They have proven to be better at the "scoring points" aspect of the game. But really, who's in to that anymore? Am I right?

    At ace of blades we have a wide array of people who will help you grow as an individual and also mock your failures so youll learn.

    We have a snowcone truck that comes once a month and make popcorn on Tuesdays during break. Every 2 weeks chair massages are available. Every 2.5 days you get a 3* cover hp and iso and every season you get a 4* cover. Eghads!

    We like having fun and want an entertaining man/woman who will dance for me and feed me grapes. Seperately though, otherwise it would just be ridiculous.
  • Arogntbastrd
    Arogntbastrd Posts: 1,009 Chairperson of the Boards
    dlaw008 wrote:
    Kids today just don't know.

    All they care about is their guns and their make out parties! We have blades and make out parties! Thats WAY better
  • vudu3
    vudu3 Posts: 940 Critical Contributor
    Arogntbastrd wrote:
    Well im glad you asked, stranger from the audience that ive never met.

    Here at ace of blades we are everything any other alliance has said they are, but better! The only exceptions being the 14 alliances that typically score more than us. They have proven to be better at the "scoring points" aspect of the game. But really, who's in to that anymore? Am I right?

    At ace of blades we have a wide array of people who will help you grow as an individual and also mock your failures so youll learn.

    We have a snowcone truck that comes once a month and make popcorn on Tuesdays during break. Every 2 weeks chair massages are available. Every 2.5 days you get a 3* cover hp and iso and every season you get a 4* cover. Eghads!

    We like having fun and want an entertaining man/woman who will dance for me and feed me grapes. Seperately though, otherwise it would just be ridiculous.
    This is great but I need an alliance that will randomly give me between 70 and 250 ISO just for being me. Where can I find a place like that?
  • Arogntbastrd
    Arogntbastrd Posts: 1,009 Chairperson of the Boards
    We do that too. We have everything to offer but now a days its all about the **** and cocaines. I told you we shouldve invested more in **** and cocaines

    icon_e_sad.gif

    KAW!
  • Ryz-aus
    Ryz-aus Posts: 386
    Arogntbastrd wrote:
    We do that too. We have everything to offer but now a days its all about the **** and cocaines. I told you we shouldve invested more in **** and cocaines

    icon_e_sad.gif

    KAW!

    Clearly you are visiting the "snowcone" truck at the wrong time of day icon_e_wink.gif
  • Arogntbastrd
    Arogntbastrd Posts: 1,009 Chairperson of the Boards
    Ryz-aus wrote:
    Arogntbastrd wrote:
    We do that too. We have everything to offer but now a days its all about the **** and cocaines. I told you we shouldve invested more in **** and cocaines

    icon_e_sad.gif

    KAW!

    Clearly you are visiting the "snowcone" truck at the wrong time of day icon_e_wink.gif

    Ryz your drinking has taken a dark turn, but we'll always support you

    Xoxo
  • Arogntbastrd
    Arogntbastrd Posts: 1,009 Chairperson of the Boards
    The lady thor pve has, in essence, left our humble patch centric alliance in a bloody heap. After having defeated the fat man he taddled to his big sis and she used cerebral tactics to shred us from the inside.

    Many lives were lost... icon_e_sad.gif

    Starting after the pve we will have somewhere between 1-19 spots available. Sorry for the broadness. I'm still staggered and should pick up proper numerical interpretation tomorrow

    Please pm vudu3 and myself if you're interested. We're typically top 20 for pvp and top 100 in pve, if you're into such petty worldly things

    Bonus points if you're a lady. Our queen was slain and we mourn her

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