Kitc.hens - NOT a spam thread!

mbpm1 wrote:

They're taking over! Next we'll be facing fk lieutenants who refurnish their teammates, and fk pyros who use myriad cutlery against us.

Fitted Kitchons' proprietary cutlery organization systems utilize principles derived from Sun Tzu's The Art of War and Thucydides' History of the Peloponnesian War to maximize both the quantity and quality of gustatory delights. After all, life is a perpetual battlefield. At Fitted Kitchons, we believe that creating a fine meal is like winning a battle, but to create haute cuisine is to win the war. The chef is like a lieutenant, and his soldiers are complete tools. Our products use several technologies derived from military research to optimize your culinary experience.

Our Wau-Haute-Haute vector-thrusting stovetops use cold-seeking technology originally developed for missile guidance systems to create the most even, most intense sear ever seen outside of nuclear test sites. Cook three steaks at once with our top-of-the-line TriPyro SLX system. There's no need to debone. Our proprietary time-delay technology creates gorgeously intense flames with Germanic precision that no amount of interference, short of an act of god, can quench.

At Fitted Kitchons, we are committed to helping you fight the food fight.