MPQ Dad Jokes! (puns)
Unemployed Mindless Ones usually find work in construction. Why?
After losing his licence to practice law, Daredevil opened a bar. What did he call it?
What do Symbiotes usually order when they stop in for a drink?
Captain Marvel started waiting tables, but when patrons get rowdy, she throws non-alcoholic beverages at them. What does she call that move?
Kingpin got in on the action, opening a fine-dining restaurant. What's their specialty?
Dr. Strange opened a hair salon. What's his signature style?
After the snap, Thanos tried his hand at tennis. He was just too slow; what did reporters call his failed attempt?
So, he retired to his farm, taking an...
What's Gamora's favourite snack?
I've got tons more, but I'll leave it at that, today...
Comments
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Love this!
Thanks!0 -
12
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Laughed so hard I got lockjaw.7
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Daken only take so much is this.6
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This thread is amazing 😉
Here goes...
Why is Nico despised by tropical vampires?When blood is shed —> Freeze!Why was Yelena Belova fired from her job as a scout?
Lethargic ReconWhy did Howard the Duck stop raising geese on his country farm?
Duck, Duck LooseI really need to stop before I wreck my brain trying to work in a dub-step joke for Elektra...
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Why is Nebula the center on Thanos’ basketball team?Rim efficiency
How can Ronin sleep after all the horrible things he’s done?Disabling Brew
What was young Magneto doing when his mom yelled at him to ‘stop playing with your food’?Polarizing forks
Who did Squirrel Girl meet at McDonalds for dessert?Her McFlurry friends
What does Vulture do when he meets Bishop?Circle and pray
...I just can’t stop. I’m so sorry...5 -
I hear that Daredevil got hired to look after Marine animals.It was because of his Ray-dar Sense
Why doesn't Elektra like identical twins?
They make her double double crossWhy isn't Wolverine allowed in hang out with Doctors?
He causes Surgical StrikesWhy did Punisher refuse to pay his grocery bill?
He was unhappy with the Mercilous Charge5 -
Why did Rocket get upset with Groot?
Because Groot really pushed his buttons.
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Why do Jessica Jones and Eddie Brock dislike the Hulk so much?
Because he's "Gonna Photobomb".
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Why did Venom want to become a lawyer?
He wants to become a Legal Protector.
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Why do the X-Men take their pets to see Cable?Because of his Veterinary InstinctsSabretooth recently joined a tribute Rap BandThey are called You Shoulda Run DMCWhy doesn't the X-Mansion have any curtains?There is no room due to Professor X's Blind Spots7
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An excellent first day - thanks to all for making this thread fun, in exactly the way I'd hoped! Here are some more...A one-finger poke to the gut from Hulk can make you barf for days - what's that attack called?Chunderous Tap!
Down on the farm, Deadpool just started throwing chickens at his enemies. Why did he give up and use his swords?
He was Out Of Pullets!Captain America does his job; and that includes paperwork after a mission. Sometimes, even the documents become unruly. What did he shout when a particular file gave him too much trouble?
"On Your Seat, Folder!"What does Moonstone wear to bed?
A Control Shift!When Rogue and Galactus play cards, she always wins. Why?
She's always Cheating the Large!Peggy Carter gets invited to everyone's holiday parties. Why?
She always gives Legendary Presents!Bad breath can even affect superheroes, but different people use different things...
Medusa's favourite is... Entangle Mints!She-Hulk prefers... Settle Mints!Punisher uses... Judge Mints!... and Nebula likes... Warped Enhance Mints!Nebula had a hard time finding a place to stay once she arrived on Earth. What kind of apartment did she settle for?
A Grim Efficiency!After killing off all the wizards, Mordo took up marine biology. Why?
He prefers Power with Porpoise!8 -
Old Man Logan's favorite burger joint was closed for remodeling. What did he settle for at the nearby sub shop?
A reluctant hero
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Why does Jessica Jones work extra at airport security?
Because of her excellent Body check abilities
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Why do Kitty dabble as an electrician?
Because she's a real Circuit breaker
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Why is Loki so excellent at wrecking parties?Becuse he can Destroy everything2
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What is Helas favorite nineties movie?
That's right: Death becomes her
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What does Captain America say when he gets back from a trip to IKEA?Avengers...Assemble!Why did Iron Man get a suit of armour made from aluminium?So he could foil the Dark Avengers plans12
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Why does the Maggia Don always play online poker while sitting on the toilet?So he can have a Bathroom Deal.4
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Where does Black Cat hide the bounties of her thefts?
In her Claws-et.What made Moonstone become a street racer?
She's an expert of the Control(led) DriftWhat do people tell Agent Venom when he says no one accepts him as he is?
The Military Might.3
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