Deadpool Daily Quests - Round Eight - Mar 25 to Mar 29
Welcome to round eight of Deadpool's Daily Quests! Main post will be updated each day with the enemies we'll be facing and the cover reward.
Covers for this round will be Luke Cage (Red), Rocket&Groot (Green), Spider-Man (Blue), Storm (Yellow) and Daredevil (Blue)
The entire Marvel Puzzle Quest constellation of characters has had to move into one large and sprawling shared-living compound. Because reasons. Go with it, it makes as much sense as any of the official MPQ stories.
As the characters live together, laugh together, love together, and rend limb-from-limb together, they learn more about each other – and themselves. A touching, poignant, heartbreaking look at the secret lives of those that live in….
…The Marvel Puzzle Quest Compound.
Serial Two - Arts & Crafts
Episode One:
Tune in after the break for the next possibly exciting episode!
Covers for this round will be Luke Cage (Red), Rocket&Groot (Green), Spider-Man (Blue), Storm (Yellow) and Daredevil (Blue)
The entire Marvel Puzzle Quest constellation of characters has had to move into one large and sprawling shared-living compound. Because reasons. Go with it, it makes as much sense as any of the official MPQ stories.
As the characters live together, laugh together, love together, and rend limb-from-limb together, they learn more about each other – and themselves. A touching, poignant, heartbreaking look at the secret lives of those that live in….
…The Marvel Puzzle Quest Compound.
Serial Two - Arts & Crafts
Episode One:
That Guy From That Place -
Hawkeye** (15), Defender (10), Defender(10)
Hawkeye awakens early and finds a corpse on the front doorstep. He looks in askance at two sheepish Defender doombots, who shrug and try to look like they were just, like, walking past, man. Inspecting the body, Hawkeye finds that it is a singing telegram who unfortunately cannot sing any longer. However, the message was written down, and Hawkeye reads it.
He discovers that the MPQ Compound has been issued a challenge from, of all places, the DC Compound. The jerks. Apparently, it is an arts and crafts competition. Hawkeye leaves the message on the refrigerator door and goes back to bed for an hour. He can’t deal with that **** this early in the morning. The Defenders take the corpse and fertilize the vegetable beds.
Under The Sea -
Wave 1 Brawler (20), Decoy (22), Defender (25), Brawler(28)
Wave 2 Decoy (40), Decoy (42), Ironman*** (50), Criterion (46)
“They all drink! All of them! How am I supposed to stay clean if every damn one of them is in the bottle all the damn time?”
Tony Stark growls in frustration. He hasn’t slept well, tossing and turning. The barbecue last night – indeed, the actions of the entire day – showed that living here would be a terrible Temptation. He needs help to stay strong, and has turned to a gathering of doombots.
“How about we electrocute you every time you’re about to take a drink?” a Brawler suggests.
Desperate, Tony agrees.
Third Time's The Charm -
Doctor Octopus*** (74), Loki*** (70), Human Torch*** (71)
The Human Torch is waiting outside Loki’s bedroom door when the Trickster God emerges that morning. Torch smells very clean, very soapy, and Loki just knows his scent-allergies are going to act up again. That would be a pain in the rear – every time he sneezes, all the tiles in the bathroom shift about and change places with each other.
“You made me a Human Firepit!” Torch complained. Loki shrugged and scratched at his nose.
“Could be worse. At least you’re not waste disposal.”
“Oh, here.” Doctor Octopus walked past, one of his mechanical tentacles sticking an empty toilet roll cylinder into Torch’s flames, consuming it. “Thanks, Loki, that’s an excellent idea. By the way, we’re out of soap.”
“DAMNIT!” Torch complained to the world at large.
Dat Required Character -
Thor** (64), Black Widow** (60), Bullseye** (63)
“It’s not that I’m unwilling to be an advocate,” Thor protested, cornered by Black Widow and Bullseye. “It’s just that I think you're a psychotic who should be punished for your crimes.”
“Come on, man.” wheedled Bullseye. “I'm mostly just misunderstood. I'm a good guy, really. Just tell the others not to evict the arrow dude.“
“He always has been.” Black Widow added sincerely. "It's why I love him."
“Wait, I thought you were with Hawkeye?” Thor looked confused.
Black Widow rolled her eyes and put her arm around Bullseye.
"Of course I am, silly." she said, "This is Hawkeye. Are you drunk already this morning?"
"But that's Bullseye!" Thor protested.
"Silly!" Widow giggled. "You think I don't know the difference in costumes?"
"And puppet show rehersals." Bullseye leered.
Storm, on her way to the kitchen for some bacon flavored granola, pulled a card from her purse and wordlessly handed it to Black Widow. It read "Jonah Schmidtt, Optician to the Superheroes"
The Big Enchilada -
Wave 1 Teisatsu (99), Teisatsu (100), Teisatsu (105)
Wave 2 Luke Cage*** (112), Punisher*** (111), Captain America*** (110)
Wave 3 Konran (122), Konran(121), Shinobi (120)
Wave 4 Gorgon*** (130), Deadpool*** (132), Wolverine**** (131)
Captain America has gathered up a select few heroes, villains and other assorted extras. He wishes to be all-inclusive with his meeting, but most of the house is still asleep and it’s gone past nine. Lazy…
“Hawkeye said that the DC Compound has challenged us to an Arts and Crafts competition.” Captain America said. “And I’ve tagged each of you as the most creative spirits here.”
Luke Cage, Punisher, Gorgon, Deadpool and Wolverine looked at each other, and then at the Hand mob that had been swept up into the group.
“Us?” Punisher asked, dubiousness in his tone.
“I don’t do arts and crafts, bub.” Wolverine growled. “Go ask the nerds.”
“I’m the leader of a secret group of ninja assassins.” Gorgon shook his head. “I don’t do arts and crafts either.”
“That’s a shame. I was hoping you two would work together.” Captain America told Gorgon and Wolverine, who looked at the oblivious but well meaning superhero with open mouths. Had the guy even been paying attention lately?
Most Valued Resident: Storm (Yellow) because some acts of superheroism are as simple as a referral to a really, really good optician.
Episode Two:
Hawkeye** (15), Defender (10), Defender(10)
Hawkeye awakens early and finds a corpse on the front doorstep. He looks in askance at two sheepish Defender doombots, who shrug and try to look like they were just, like, walking past, man. Inspecting the body, Hawkeye finds that it is a singing telegram who unfortunately cannot sing any longer. However, the message was written down, and Hawkeye reads it.
He discovers that the MPQ Compound has been issued a challenge from, of all places, the DC Compound. The jerks. Apparently, it is an arts and crafts competition. Hawkeye leaves the message on the refrigerator door and goes back to bed for an hour. He can’t deal with that **** this early in the morning. The Defenders take the corpse and fertilize the vegetable beds.
Under The Sea -
Wave 1 Brawler (20), Decoy (22), Defender (25), Brawler(28)
Wave 2 Decoy (40), Decoy (42), Ironman*** (50), Criterion (46)
“They all drink! All of them! How am I supposed to stay clean if every damn one of them is in the bottle all the damn time?”
Tony Stark growls in frustration. He hasn’t slept well, tossing and turning. The barbecue last night – indeed, the actions of the entire day – showed that living here would be a terrible Temptation. He needs help to stay strong, and has turned to a gathering of doombots.
“How about we electrocute you every time you’re about to take a drink?” a Brawler suggests.
Desperate, Tony agrees.
Third Time's The Charm -
Doctor Octopus*** (74), Loki*** (70), Human Torch*** (71)
The Human Torch is waiting outside Loki’s bedroom door when the Trickster God emerges that morning. Torch smells very clean, very soapy, and Loki just knows his scent-allergies are going to act up again. That would be a pain in the rear – every time he sneezes, all the tiles in the bathroom shift about and change places with each other.
“You made me a Human Firepit!” Torch complained. Loki shrugged and scratched at his nose.
“Could be worse. At least you’re not waste disposal.”
“Oh, here.” Doctor Octopus walked past, one of his mechanical tentacles sticking an empty toilet roll cylinder into Torch’s flames, consuming it. “Thanks, Loki, that’s an excellent idea. By the way, we’re out of soap.”
“DAMNIT!” Torch complained to the world at large.
Dat Required Character -
Thor** (64), Black Widow** (60), Bullseye** (63)
“It’s not that I’m unwilling to be an advocate,” Thor protested, cornered by Black Widow and Bullseye. “It’s just that I think you're a psychotic who should be punished for your crimes.”
“Come on, man.” wheedled Bullseye. “I'm mostly just misunderstood. I'm a good guy, really. Just tell the others not to evict the arrow dude.“
“He always has been.” Black Widow added sincerely. "It's why I love him."
“Wait, I thought you were with Hawkeye?” Thor looked confused.
Black Widow rolled her eyes and put her arm around Bullseye.
"Of course I am, silly." she said, "This is Hawkeye. Are you drunk already this morning?"
"But that's Bullseye!" Thor protested.
"Silly!" Widow giggled. "You think I don't know the difference in costumes?"
"And puppet show rehersals." Bullseye leered.
Storm, on her way to the kitchen for some bacon flavored granola, pulled a card from her purse and wordlessly handed it to Black Widow. It read "Jonah Schmidtt, Optician to the Superheroes"
The Big Enchilada -
Wave 1 Teisatsu (99), Teisatsu (100), Teisatsu (105)
Wave 2 Luke Cage*** (112), Punisher*** (111), Captain America*** (110)
Wave 3 Konran (122), Konran(121), Shinobi (120)
Wave 4 Gorgon*** (130), Deadpool*** (132), Wolverine**** (131)
Captain America has gathered up a select few heroes, villains and other assorted extras. He wishes to be all-inclusive with his meeting, but most of the house is still asleep and it’s gone past nine. Lazy…
“Hawkeye said that the DC Compound has challenged us to an Arts and Crafts competition.” Captain America said. “And I’ve tagged each of you as the most creative spirits here.”
Luke Cage, Punisher, Gorgon, Deadpool and Wolverine looked at each other, and then at the Hand mob that had been swept up into the group.
“Us?” Punisher asked, dubiousness in his tone.
“I don’t do arts and crafts, bub.” Wolverine growled. “Go ask the nerds.”
“I’m the leader of a secret group of ninja assassins.” Gorgon shook his head. “I don’t do arts and crafts either.”
“That’s a shame. I was hoping you two would work together.” Captain America told Gorgon and Wolverine, who looked at the oblivious but well meaning superhero with open mouths. Had the guy even been paying attention lately?
Most Valued Resident: Storm (Yellow) because some acts of superheroism are as simple as a referral to a really, really good optician.
That Guy From That Place -
Human Torch** (15), Thug (10), Thug (10)
Human Torch kicked the dirt despondently with his foot. Nobody listened to him. Nobody appreciated him. To everyone else, he was just a mobile flame. Human Torch was, to put it bluntly, in a petulant sulk.
“Hey man.” Torch turned to see a couple of Maggia thugs approaching him.
“Yeah?”
“Just wanted to say, good job last night.” one thug said.
“Right. Best roast pig I've had in years. You cooked it just right.” the other thug agreed.
“Well…um, thanks.” Torch replied.
“Succulent and juicy, full of flavor.” the thug went on.
“Did you use any special seasonings?” Thug Two asked.
“Well, just…you know, nothing special. An herb rub. My own blend.”
“Nice. Very nice. Well, must be off…”
The thugs turned to leave. Torch felt a little proud of himself after that. Standing slightly taller, he smiled and let his flames ripple over his body. At least someone appreciated him.
That lasted until the thugs came back, apologized and quickly lit their cigarettes on him.
Under The Sea -
Wave 1 Thug (20), Hitman (22), Hitman (25), Thug(28)
Wave 2 Thug (40), Hitman (42), Gamora*** (50), Thug(46)
“Strike!”
“Ow…”
“STRIKE!”
“Owwww…”
Two thugs, having a smoke in the morning air, watched as Gamora practiced her swordplay on a group of Maggia Hitmen.
“She’s really quite good.” one observed, as Gamora yelled “STRIKE!!!” again and smacked another Hitman aside.
“I AM THE MOST DANGEROUS WOMAN IN THE **** GALAXY!” Gamora screamed to the sky.
“A bit nuts, though. It’s too early for exercise.” Thug Two observed.
Third Time's The Charm -
Daken*** (74), Hood*** (70), Rocket&Groot*** (71)
Daken and the Hood are taking the morning to lay beneath a tree and chat about their time in Osborne’s Secret Cabal. Daken ventures that Osborne didn't really have much of a plan and just sort of petered out and didn't even have a proper end game. Hood shrugs, looking up between the branches at the clouds and points out that everyone has a different management style. He, for example, personally likes to shoot any underperforming Maggia goons in an effort to inspire the others to do better. Daken suggests, quite reasonably, that eventually the Hood will run out of Maggia to do that sort of thing with. The Hood gives a little snort of amusement and mutters that more just seem to turn up every day to replace the ones he pensions off with a bullet.
Groot adds that he is, in fact, Groot. Daken and the Hood are startled to a standing position as they realize they were laying beneath Groot’s branches.
Dat Required Character -
Wolverine** (64), Daken** (60), Captain Marvel** (63)
“Dad, I know we haven't really gotten along…”
“What’s up, bub?”
Wolverine and Daken share a moment of father/son tenderness. Daken wants to come out and tell his father that he thinks it was probably not the best of ideas to join Osborne but that he did it to get back at his old man for throwing out his Michael Jackson LP’s . However, before he can begin his little heart to heart which is guaranteed to get the female viewers onboard, an interruption in the form of Captain Marvel appears.
“Helloooo!” Captain Marvel waves from across the yard. “Wolverine! I need to have a little talk about something!”
“Oh, God.” growled Wolverine.
“Pops, why is Carol giving you that weird look?” Daken asked curiously. “And why is she making that really weird gesture?”
“Uh…hey, look! It’s Luke Cage! Hey, buddy! Let’s go have a chat!” Wolverine grabs Luke and bundles him off into the house pretending to need to talk to him. Captain Marvel narrows her eyes and purses her lips. It must be a conspiracy or something.
The Big Enchilada -
Wave 1 Criterion (99), Subject (100), Empiricist (105)
Wave 2 Captain Marvel*** (112), Beast*** (111), Daredevil*** (110)
Wave 3 Control (122), Control (121), Criterion (120)
Wave 4 Invisible Woman**** (130), Black Widow*** (132), Blade*** (131)
Beast is in a frenzy of excitement. Upon waking that morning he had discovered the note from the DC Compound and is quite eager to compete in the Arts and Crafts competition. He raids the kitchen to look for macaroni to stick to cardboard. Unfortunately, he finds that Blade had decided to cook up ten pounds of macaroni and cheese for breakfast. He doesn't actually have to eat it, but apparently it is a comfort food for him. Invisible Woman enters, looking for maple syrup to go on her pancakes – sadly for her, Black Widow has just made off with the entire bottle and also three cans of spray-whip cream.
“Sorry, Sue.” she says easily, “I need these for my puppet show.” Invisible Woman doesn't think Black Widow is really sorry at all, the wanton tart. Captain Marvel corners Daredevil as he’s trying to fry eggs – neither egg actually hit the frying pan with one on the stovetop directly and the other on the floor. So much for his freaky blind-man senses, eh? – and tries to use his "super-duper blind man enhanced hearing" to see if he overheard Wolverine and Cage talking earlier.
“Was it me? What did he say about me?” Daredevil is a little embarrassed. He had, in fact, been eavesdropping - Wolverine had admitted that Captain Marvel had touched his leg inappropriately the day before to “comfort” him but didn't seem too enthused about her otherwise. Daredevil definitely didn't tell Carol how Luke used the words “trying to latch onto a man like the kraken grabs a ship”, and mutters some noncommittal fluff until a group of background goons come in to take over the kitchen and make themselves some hash browns, drowning out the conversation with their chatter.
Most Valued Resident: Luke Cage (Red) for knowing when to hold 'em, when to fold 'em, and when to run like hell and keep away from 'em. He has a wife and kid to think about, after all.
Episode Three:
Human Torch** (15), Thug (10), Thug (10)
Human Torch kicked the dirt despondently with his foot. Nobody listened to him. Nobody appreciated him. To everyone else, he was just a mobile flame. Human Torch was, to put it bluntly, in a petulant sulk.
“Hey man.” Torch turned to see a couple of Maggia thugs approaching him.
“Yeah?”
“Just wanted to say, good job last night.” one thug said.
“Right. Best roast pig I've had in years. You cooked it just right.” the other thug agreed.
“Well…um, thanks.” Torch replied.
“Succulent and juicy, full of flavor.” the thug went on.
“Did you use any special seasonings?” Thug Two asked.
“Well, just…you know, nothing special. An herb rub. My own blend.”
“Nice. Very nice. Well, must be off…”
The thugs turned to leave. Torch felt a little proud of himself after that. Standing slightly taller, he smiled and let his flames ripple over his body. At least someone appreciated him.
That lasted until the thugs came back, apologized and quickly lit their cigarettes on him.
Under The Sea -
Wave 1 Thug (20), Hitman (22), Hitman (25), Thug(28)
Wave 2 Thug (40), Hitman (42), Gamora*** (50), Thug(46)
“Strike!”
“Ow…”
“STRIKE!”
“Owwww…”
Two thugs, having a smoke in the morning air, watched as Gamora practiced her swordplay on a group of Maggia Hitmen.
“She’s really quite good.” one observed, as Gamora yelled “STRIKE!!!” again and smacked another Hitman aside.
“I AM THE MOST DANGEROUS WOMAN IN THE **** GALAXY!” Gamora screamed to the sky.
“A bit nuts, though. It’s too early for exercise.” Thug Two observed.
Third Time's The Charm -
Daken*** (74), Hood*** (70), Rocket&Groot*** (71)
Daken and the Hood are taking the morning to lay beneath a tree and chat about their time in Osborne’s Secret Cabal. Daken ventures that Osborne didn't really have much of a plan and just sort of petered out and didn't even have a proper end game. Hood shrugs, looking up between the branches at the clouds and points out that everyone has a different management style. He, for example, personally likes to shoot any underperforming Maggia goons in an effort to inspire the others to do better. Daken suggests, quite reasonably, that eventually the Hood will run out of Maggia to do that sort of thing with. The Hood gives a little snort of amusement and mutters that more just seem to turn up every day to replace the ones he pensions off with a bullet.
Groot adds that he is, in fact, Groot. Daken and the Hood are startled to a standing position as they realize they were laying beneath Groot’s branches.
Dat Required Character -
Wolverine** (64), Daken** (60), Captain Marvel** (63)
“Dad, I know we haven't really gotten along…”
“What’s up, bub?”
Wolverine and Daken share a moment of father/son tenderness. Daken wants to come out and tell his father that he thinks it was probably not the best of ideas to join Osborne but that he did it to get back at his old man for throwing out his Michael Jackson LP’s . However, before he can begin his little heart to heart which is guaranteed to get the female viewers onboard, an interruption in the form of Captain Marvel appears.
“Helloooo!” Captain Marvel waves from across the yard. “Wolverine! I need to have a little talk about something!”
“Oh, God.” growled Wolverine.
“Pops, why is Carol giving you that weird look?” Daken asked curiously. “And why is she making that really weird gesture?”
“Uh…hey, look! It’s Luke Cage! Hey, buddy! Let’s go have a chat!” Wolverine grabs Luke and bundles him off into the house pretending to need to talk to him. Captain Marvel narrows her eyes and purses her lips. It must be a conspiracy or something.
The Big Enchilada -
Wave 1 Criterion (99), Subject (100), Empiricist (105)
Wave 2 Captain Marvel*** (112), Beast*** (111), Daredevil*** (110)
Wave 3 Control (122), Control (121), Criterion (120)
Wave 4 Invisible Woman**** (130), Black Widow*** (132), Blade*** (131)
Beast is in a frenzy of excitement. Upon waking that morning he had discovered the note from the DC Compound and is quite eager to compete in the Arts and Crafts competition. He raids the kitchen to look for macaroni to stick to cardboard. Unfortunately, he finds that Blade had decided to cook up ten pounds of macaroni and cheese for breakfast. He doesn't actually have to eat it, but apparently it is a comfort food for him. Invisible Woman enters, looking for maple syrup to go on her pancakes – sadly for her, Black Widow has just made off with the entire bottle and also three cans of spray-whip cream.
“Sorry, Sue.” she says easily, “I need these for my puppet show.” Invisible Woman doesn't think Black Widow is really sorry at all, the wanton tart. Captain Marvel corners Daredevil as he’s trying to fry eggs – neither egg actually hit the frying pan with one on the stovetop directly and the other on the floor. So much for his freaky blind-man senses, eh? – and tries to use his "super-duper blind man enhanced hearing" to see if he overheard Wolverine and Cage talking earlier.
“Was it me? What did he say about me?” Daredevil is a little embarrassed. He had, in fact, been eavesdropping - Wolverine had admitted that Captain Marvel had touched his leg inappropriately the day before to “comfort” him but didn't seem too enthused about her otherwise. Daredevil definitely didn't tell Carol how Luke used the words “trying to latch onto a man like the kraken grabs a ship”, and mutters some noncommittal fluff until a group of background goons come in to take over the kitchen and make themselves some hash browns, drowning out the conversation with their chatter.
Most Valued Resident: Luke Cage (Red) for knowing when to hold 'em, when to fold 'em, and when to run like hell and keep away from 'em. He has a wife and kid to think about, after all.
That Guy From That Place -
Captain America** (15), Spy (10), Spy (10)
Captain America has put aside his shield and is also taking a break from trying to convince people to form arts and crafts teams. Instead, he is out in the vegetable garden with a shovel and a rake. Two Spies sit on the fence and watch him. Steve amiably asks if he can help them with anything, or whether they would like to help him with the gardening. Both decline and say that they're doing a side job for the NSA and that there were suspicious activities around the vegetable patch earlier this morning. Captain America is about to ask what sort of suspicious activities, and why the NSA is employing S.H.I.E.L.D spies to do their work for them when his rake hits something solid. Thinking it to be a rock, Steve yanks hard at the solid mass only to find that he's pulled up the corpse of a singing telegram. The spies exchange a look, and Captain America holds up his hands in a "Wasn't ME!" gesture.
Under The Sea -
Wave 1 Soldier (20), Pyro (22), Lieutenant (25), Analyst (28)
Wave 2 Assassin (40), Grenadier (42), Psylocke*** (50), Pyro(46)
"What card am I holding up?"
"Seven of Hearts" Psylocke answered in a bored tone. These simple card tricks no longer amuse her, but they seem to be a big hit among the gun-toting S.H.I.E.L.D masses.
"Alright, what about this one?"
"Jack of Spades. Look, guys, I really want to grab something to eat and maybe try out that artsy thing I heard them talking about earlier."
"One more, one more!" A Grenadier holds up a card. Psylocke concentrates.
"That's My Va-HEY! Don't be slipping cards from Cards Against Humanity into the deck!"
The collective S.H.I.E.L.D masses snicker like teenagers. Psylocke sighs.
Third Time's The Charm -
Loki*** (74), Mystique*** (70), Spiderman*** (71)
"Hey, Peter-"
"No." Spiderman sits in a corner. It has not been a good day. Loki looks hurt.
"I was just going to suggest-"
"No. No, no and no, Loki." Spiderman declared in an adamant voice. "I don't trust you."
"But I-" Loki reached out a hand, which is pushed away as Spiderman interrupts him again.
"I saw what you did to Johnny last night. I have no desire to be the butt of anyones joke - don't I get that enough?"
"Heh. He said butt." Mystique snickered as she passed.
"Thanks for that." Loki told her. "Really helpful."
"GO AWAY! I'm shielding!!" Spiderman shouted, pulling his arms over his head in an effort to hide. Loki looks disappointed, but leaves him alone. It's a pity, too, because he had some really really good ideas for the arts and crafts competition but needed a partner like Spiderman to supply some silk. He and Peter could have made something kick-****, but now...eh. That sort of rejection cuts deep, man. Deep.
Dat Required Character -
Bullseye** (64), Spiderman** (60), Thor** (63)
Bullseye, in an attempt to convince his compound-mates that he is an honest, trustworthy, sane and balanced individual (IE, lie to them) puts forth a plan to Thor and Spiderman on how to feed and care for orphans and street children. Peter, horrified by Bullseye's suggestion that orphan children be entered into a sort of 'Running of the Urchins' event where they are chased down the streets of the city by something large and dangerous - perhaps Devil Dinosaur could be convinced to do it or something - in order to compete for food hampers that he not only puts back on his Whole Foods bag, but turns it around so the eyeholes are in the back.
"Yea and verily, thou art one morally challenged individual." Thor shook his head, rejecting the idea.
"How about...have you heard of the Hunger Games?" Bullseye suggested. "Feed them AND cut down on numbers at the same time."
"I am Groot" Grood chimed in, relevant as always.
The Big Enchilada -
Wave 1 Decoy (99), Brawler (100), Decoy (105)
Wave 2 Wolverine*** (112), Human Torch*** (111), Thor*** (110)
Wave 3 Defender (122), Decoy (121), Brawler(120)
Wave 4 Doctor Doom*** (130), Elektra**** (132), Squirrel Girl*** (131)
Doctor Doom is slightly bewildered. He's just sat through an impassioned plea from Squirrel Girl to team up with her for the arts and crafts competition. With his brains and her squirrels, she argued, they could not be stopped. He was fairly sure he didn't actually like Squirrel Girl. She'd beaten him once, practically by having him hugged to submission by thousands of tiny furry arms. Still, they were going up against the DC Compound, so any port in a storm...
Elektra, Thor and Wolverine all listen to this conversation.
"That won't end well" Elektra observed. "The moment he gets all uppity and 'I have my own country, minion!' she's going to go nuts on him."
"Ha. Ha. Ha." Wolverine growled flatly. "Nuts. Very punny."
"Forsooth." Thor added.
"I am Groot." Groot replied.
Johnny Storm, hiding under the dining room table, mutters to himself that he is glad that he hasn't been reduced to catchphrases and one-dimensional characterization like Thor and Groot. He is a unique and special individual that is important and relevant and well fleshed out.
"Flame on." he whispers to himself sadly. "Flame on..."
Most Valued Resident: Rocket&Groot (Green)
"I AM GROOT".
Yes, Mister Groot, but we need your thoughts on your housemates.
"I AM GROOT."
We know, but-
"I AM GROOT."
Oh, nevermind. Cut to commercial.
Windex makes it shine!
Episode Four:
Captain America** (15), Spy (10), Spy (10)
Captain America has put aside his shield and is also taking a break from trying to convince people to form arts and crafts teams. Instead, he is out in the vegetable garden with a shovel and a rake. Two Spies sit on the fence and watch him. Steve amiably asks if he can help them with anything, or whether they would like to help him with the gardening. Both decline and say that they're doing a side job for the NSA and that there were suspicious activities around the vegetable patch earlier this morning. Captain America is about to ask what sort of suspicious activities, and why the NSA is employing S.H.I.E.L.D spies to do their work for them when his rake hits something solid. Thinking it to be a rock, Steve yanks hard at the solid mass only to find that he's pulled up the corpse of a singing telegram. The spies exchange a look, and Captain America holds up his hands in a "Wasn't ME!" gesture.
Under The Sea -
Wave 1 Soldier (20), Pyro (22), Lieutenant (25), Analyst (28)
Wave 2 Assassin (40), Grenadier (42), Psylocke*** (50), Pyro(46)
"What card am I holding up?"
"Seven of Hearts" Psylocke answered in a bored tone. These simple card tricks no longer amuse her, but they seem to be a big hit among the gun-toting S.H.I.E.L.D masses.
"Alright, what about this one?"
"Jack of Spades. Look, guys, I really want to grab something to eat and maybe try out that artsy thing I heard them talking about earlier."
"One more, one more!" A Grenadier holds up a card. Psylocke concentrates.
"That's My Va-HEY! Don't be slipping cards from Cards Against Humanity into the deck!"
The collective S.H.I.E.L.D masses snicker like teenagers. Psylocke sighs.
Third Time's The Charm -
Loki*** (74), Mystique*** (70), Spiderman*** (71)
"Hey, Peter-"
"No." Spiderman sits in a corner. It has not been a good day. Loki looks hurt.
"I was just going to suggest-"
"No. No, no and no, Loki." Spiderman declared in an adamant voice. "I don't trust you."
"But I-" Loki reached out a hand, which is pushed away as Spiderman interrupts him again.
"I saw what you did to Johnny last night. I have no desire to be the butt of anyones joke - don't I get that enough?"
"Heh. He said butt." Mystique snickered as she passed.
"Thanks for that." Loki told her. "Really helpful."
"GO AWAY! I'm shielding!!" Spiderman shouted, pulling his arms over his head in an effort to hide. Loki looks disappointed, but leaves him alone. It's a pity, too, because he had some really really good ideas for the arts and crafts competition but needed a partner like Spiderman to supply some silk. He and Peter could have made something kick-****, but now...eh. That sort of rejection cuts deep, man. Deep.
Dat Required Character -
Bullseye** (64), Spiderman** (60), Thor** (63)
Bullseye, in an attempt to convince his compound-mates that he is an honest, trustworthy, sane and balanced individual (IE, lie to them) puts forth a plan to Thor and Spiderman on how to feed and care for orphans and street children. Peter, horrified by Bullseye's suggestion that orphan children be entered into a sort of 'Running of the Urchins' event where they are chased down the streets of the city by something large and dangerous - perhaps Devil Dinosaur could be convinced to do it or something - in order to compete for food hampers that he not only puts back on his Whole Foods bag, but turns it around so the eyeholes are in the back.
"Yea and verily, thou art one morally challenged individual." Thor shook his head, rejecting the idea.
"How about...have you heard of the Hunger Games?" Bullseye suggested. "Feed them AND cut down on numbers at the same time."
"I am Groot" Grood chimed in, relevant as always.
The Big Enchilada -
Wave 1 Decoy (99), Brawler (100), Decoy (105)
Wave 2 Wolverine*** (112), Human Torch*** (111), Thor*** (110)
Wave 3 Defender (122), Decoy (121), Brawler(120)
Wave 4 Doctor Doom*** (130), Elektra**** (132), Squirrel Girl*** (131)
Doctor Doom is slightly bewildered. He's just sat through an impassioned plea from Squirrel Girl to team up with her for the arts and crafts competition. With his brains and her squirrels, she argued, they could not be stopped. He was fairly sure he didn't actually like Squirrel Girl. She'd beaten him once, practically by having him hugged to submission by thousands of tiny furry arms. Still, they were going up against the DC Compound, so any port in a storm...
Elektra, Thor and Wolverine all listen to this conversation.
"That won't end well" Elektra observed. "The moment he gets all uppity and 'I have my own country, minion!' she's going to go nuts on him."
"Ha. Ha. Ha." Wolverine growled flatly. "Nuts. Very punny."
"Forsooth." Thor added.
"I am Groot." Groot replied.
Johnny Storm, hiding under the dining room table, mutters to himself that he is glad that he hasn't been reduced to catchphrases and one-dimensional characterization like Thor and Groot. He is a unique and special individual that is important and relevant and well fleshed out.
"Flame on." he whispers to himself sadly. "Flame on..."
Most Valued Resident: Rocket&Groot (Green)
"I AM GROOT".
Yes, Mister Groot, but we need your thoughts on your housemates.
"I AM GROOT."
We know, but-
"I AM GROOT."
Oh, nevermind. Cut to commercial.
Windex makes it shine!
That Guy From That Place -
Daken** (15), Teisatsu (10), Teisatsu (10)
The famously hotheaded son of Wolverine was taking a walk through a small wooded area of the compound. He was sick of all the people in the house already, and wanted to bone-spike the lot of them.
"Daken!"
Daken turned around, but nobody was there. He scowled, and continued walking.
"Dak-dak-daken! Daaaaa-ken!"
Okay, someone was making his name sound like it was being spoken by a chicken. Daken spun about, looking for the culprit behind trees and under small astonished rabbits. Nobody.
"Daaaak-dak-dak-dak-DAKEN!" the cry came again. Daken finally looked up, and saw a pair of Hand Teisatsu suddenly moving, leaping from treetop to treetop with their sweet ninja skills. Their giggles only sort of spoiled the cool factor. Daken growled as another voice spoke.
"I am-"
"SHUT IT, TREEBEARD!" Daken snarled at Groot, and ran off to chase the mocking Teisatsu.
Under The Sea -
Wave 1 Teisatsu (20), Teisatsu (22), Shinobi (25), Teisatsu (28)
Wave 2 Shinobi (40), Konran (42), Squirrel Girl*** (50), Shinobi(46)
Squirrel Girl perched on a fencepost, her round face filled with innocent optimism. She'd been watching a large number of Hand members go through their daily training exercises and is pretty sure that the would be awesome backup dancers for her Theme Song Music Video - something Doreen has been pondering for a while now.
Surprisingly, all seven Hand eagerly sign up and Squirrel Girl spends the next few hours practicing a dance routine and wondering whether they should be called the Squirrel Pack or the Nut Squad. After the workout, a Shinobi shyly suggests the Amazing Squirrelettes. Doreen grins happily.
Third Time's The Charm -
Daken*** (74), Falcon*** (70), Loki*** (71)
"Hey, you two seen a coupla Teisatsu making chicken noises?" Daken demands of Falcon and Loki, who are enjoying a couple of stacks of pancakes.
"Sounds like there's a punchline missing." Loki grinned. "But I haven't seen any since Squirrel Girl grabbed a bunch earlier today."
"What about you, Black Falcon?" Daken asked Falcon, whose eyes went wide.
"Excuse me?" Falcon asked coldly. "What did you call me?"
"Oops?" Loki chuckled.
Dat Required Character -
Captain Marvel** (64), Captain America** (60), Magneto** (63)
Captain Marvel has cornered Captain America, who she noticed walking through the garden with a twitchy and nervous look.
"Hey, Steve."
"Carol. Look, I'm uh, kinda busy..."
"I was thinking, " Captain Marvel said, ignoring Steve's apparent desire to be elsewhere, "Mayyyyybe we could work on that Arts and Crafts competition together? Two Captains together?"
"I, um, I'm kinda busy..." Captain America repeated himself, "There's this thing I've got to do."
"Competition is a very American thing." Captain Marvel suggested, pulling inspiration from the air. "You'd be doing your country a service, and we could you know...spend time on it..."
It's a testament to Captain America's distractedness that he doesn't notice Carol's hungry - almost predatory look. He bites his lip.
"Give me a few hours." He says, oblivious. "I have a couple of spi- er, I have some things to take care of. I'll meet you in the house?"
"Okay!" Captain Marvel fairly runs off, wondering whether she should change into one of her older and more revealing costumes. Steve heads back to the garden shed and sighs as he looks at two tied up spies.
"Seriously, guys, it wasn't me. I'll figure it out and then let you go, okay?"
"Mmmph." A spy says, mouth gagged.
Meanwhile, Magneto has just woken up in his bedroom and looks around blearily. He's not sure what's been going on, but there is a small pile of empty Vanilla Essence bottles on the floor beside his bed, and he feels as if he never wants to move again. He lets out a small groan of misery and gropes for his helmet.
The Big Enchilada -
Wave 1 Hitman (99), Thug (100), Hitman (105)
Wave 2 Human Torch*** (112), Ironman*** (111), Magneto*** (110)
Wave 3 Muscle (122), Hitman (121), Brawler(120)
Wave 4 Invisible Woman**** (130), Beast*** (132), Storm*** (131)
"Hey hey there, Mister Magnetic!" Ironman calls out to Mangeto, who has managed to put on his clothes the right way around and make his way to the living room. Magneto winces and puts a hand to his helmet.
"I hate you immensely. What time is it?" Magneto asks quietly.
"Around five." Ironman shrugged. "Man, you look like hell. What have you been doing?"
"Sleeping." Magneto grumbled. "And then vomiting."
"Were you drinking?" Ironman asked, concerned. "Because I can totally help AAAARGH OH MY GOD WHAT THE HELL!?"
Magneto watched dispassionately as Ironman fell to the floor, twitching uncontrollably. One of Doctor Doom's robots shrugs apologetically.
"It's aversion therapy." the Brawler says. "He'll be fine."
Human Torch, Spiderman and Beast have decided to team up for the arts and crafts. It's not because a scientist, a photographer and an idiot make a good team, it's just that nobody else wants them. Except, apparently Loki, but nobody trusts him anymore. Currently, this trio are gluing cut-out girls from Black Panther's stash of bedroom magazines and sticking them to paper plates. Nobody is quite sure why, or how Panther is going to react to this.
A lot of the minions have grouped up, determined not to be left out. If they can do well at this, they figure, they could end up on the hero roster some day. Or villain. They're not fussy. Storm and the Invisible Woman alternate between giving them backhanded compliments and actively tearing strips from them verbally. There's no way either of them want to play with glue and scissors, but they'll be damned if a bunch of extras manage to pull off something good. It also isn't helping that the Invisible Woman keeps sneaking up and stealing their tools, or that Storm makes little puffs of wind that scatter things everywhere. Girl Power? Sure, if "girl" was spelled with five letters, started with B and rhymed with "rich".
Most Valued Resident: Spiderman (Blue) for finding Beast and Johnny as partners in crippling self doubt. Nothing bad could happen THERE, I'm sure
Episode Five:
Daken** (15), Teisatsu (10), Teisatsu (10)
The famously hotheaded son of Wolverine was taking a walk through a small wooded area of the compound. He was sick of all the people in the house already, and wanted to bone-spike the lot of them.
"Daken!"
Daken turned around, but nobody was there. He scowled, and continued walking.
"Dak-dak-daken! Daaaaa-ken!"
Okay, someone was making his name sound like it was being spoken by a chicken. Daken spun about, looking for the culprit behind trees and under small astonished rabbits. Nobody.
"Daaaak-dak-dak-dak-DAKEN!" the cry came again. Daken finally looked up, and saw a pair of Hand Teisatsu suddenly moving, leaping from treetop to treetop with their sweet ninja skills. Their giggles only sort of spoiled the cool factor. Daken growled as another voice spoke.
"I am-"
"SHUT IT, TREEBEARD!" Daken snarled at Groot, and ran off to chase the mocking Teisatsu.
Under The Sea -
Wave 1 Teisatsu (20), Teisatsu (22), Shinobi (25), Teisatsu (28)
Wave 2 Shinobi (40), Konran (42), Squirrel Girl*** (50), Shinobi(46)
Squirrel Girl perched on a fencepost, her round face filled with innocent optimism. She'd been watching a large number of Hand members go through their daily training exercises and is pretty sure that the would be awesome backup dancers for her Theme Song Music Video - something Doreen has been pondering for a while now.
Surprisingly, all seven Hand eagerly sign up and Squirrel Girl spends the next few hours practicing a dance routine and wondering whether they should be called the Squirrel Pack or the Nut Squad. After the workout, a Shinobi shyly suggests the Amazing Squirrelettes. Doreen grins happily.
Third Time's The Charm -
Daken*** (74), Falcon*** (70), Loki*** (71)
"Hey, you two seen a coupla Teisatsu making chicken noises?" Daken demands of Falcon and Loki, who are enjoying a couple of stacks of pancakes.
"Sounds like there's a punchline missing." Loki grinned. "But I haven't seen any since Squirrel Girl grabbed a bunch earlier today."
"What about you, Black Falcon?" Daken asked Falcon, whose eyes went wide.
"Excuse me?" Falcon asked coldly. "What did you call me?"
"Oops?" Loki chuckled.
Dat Required Character -
Captain Marvel** (64), Captain America** (60), Magneto** (63)
Captain Marvel has cornered Captain America, who she noticed walking through the garden with a twitchy and nervous look.
"Hey, Steve."
"Carol. Look, I'm uh, kinda busy..."
"I was thinking, " Captain Marvel said, ignoring Steve's apparent desire to be elsewhere, "Mayyyyybe we could work on that Arts and Crafts competition together? Two Captains together?"
"I, um, I'm kinda busy..." Captain America repeated himself, "There's this thing I've got to do."
"Competition is a very American thing." Captain Marvel suggested, pulling inspiration from the air. "You'd be doing your country a service, and we could you know...spend time on it..."
It's a testament to Captain America's distractedness that he doesn't notice Carol's hungry - almost predatory look. He bites his lip.
"Give me a few hours." He says, oblivious. "I have a couple of spi- er, I have some things to take care of. I'll meet you in the house?"
"Okay!" Captain Marvel fairly runs off, wondering whether she should change into one of her older and more revealing costumes. Steve heads back to the garden shed and sighs as he looks at two tied up spies.
"Seriously, guys, it wasn't me. I'll figure it out and then let you go, okay?"
"Mmmph." A spy says, mouth gagged.
Meanwhile, Magneto has just woken up in his bedroom and looks around blearily. He's not sure what's been going on, but there is a small pile of empty Vanilla Essence bottles on the floor beside his bed, and he feels as if he never wants to move again. He lets out a small groan of misery and gropes for his helmet.
The Big Enchilada -
Wave 1 Hitman (99), Thug (100), Hitman (105)
Wave 2 Human Torch*** (112), Ironman*** (111), Magneto*** (110)
Wave 3 Muscle (122), Hitman (121), Brawler(120)
Wave 4 Invisible Woman**** (130), Beast*** (132), Storm*** (131)
"Hey hey there, Mister Magnetic!" Ironman calls out to Mangeto, who has managed to put on his clothes the right way around and make his way to the living room. Magneto winces and puts a hand to his helmet.
"I hate you immensely. What time is it?" Magneto asks quietly.
"Around five." Ironman shrugged. "Man, you look like hell. What have you been doing?"
"Sleeping." Magneto grumbled. "And then vomiting."
"Were you drinking?" Ironman asked, concerned. "Because I can totally help AAAARGH OH MY GOD WHAT THE HELL!?"
Magneto watched dispassionately as Ironman fell to the floor, twitching uncontrollably. One of Doctor Doom's robots shrugs apologetically.
"It's aversion therapy." the Brawler says. "He'll be fine."
Human Torch, Spiderman and Beast have decided to team up for the arts and crafts. It's not because a scientist, a photographer and an idiot make a good team, it's just that nobody else wants them. Except, apparently Loki, but nobody trusts him anymore. Currently, this trio are gluing cut-out girls from Black Panther's stash of bedroom magazines and sticking them to paper plates. Nobody is quite sure why, or how Panther is going to react to this.
A lot of the minions have grouped up, determined not to be left out. If they can do well at this, they figure, they could end up on the hero roster some day. Or villain. They're not fussy. Storm and the Invisible Woman alternate between giving them backhanded compliments and actively tearing strips from them verbally. There's no way either of them want to play with glue and scissors, but they'll be damned if a bunch of extras manage to pull off something good. It also isn't helping that the Invisible Woman keeps sneaking up and stealing their tools, or that Storm makes little puffs of wind that scatter things everywhere. Girl Power? Sure, if "girl" was spelled with five letters, started with B and rhymed with "rich".
Most Valued Resident: Spiderman (Blue) for finding Beast and Johnny as partners in crippling self doubt. Nothing bad could happen THERE, I'm sure
That Guy From That Place -
Hawkeye** (15), Assassin (10), Assassin (10)
Hawkeye is a little confused. Last night, the door to Black Widow's room was locked and she sounded as if she were doing the puppet show without him. He never thought she'd leave the troupe to go solo, even if she DID seem to be able to do the male voices just as well as the female when he spent a couple of hours leaning against her door to listen. She's been avoiding him this morning so far, and he hasn't seen even a glimpse of her.
Two assassins, busy sharpening pool cues "just in case the game escalates", let him know that they saw Black Widow with Bullseye earlier that morning. Hawkeye is shocked - he can't think of any reason she would want to hang out with that crazy psychopath unless...unless...
"Well, damn!" Hawkeye exclaimed, suddenly realizing the depth of his troubles. "She's going to team up with him for the arts and crafts competition! That's not FAIR!"
The assassins exchange a look and a shake of the head. You just can't help some people.
Under The Sea -
Wave 1 Soldier (20), Lieutenant (22), Pyro (25), Spy (28)
Wave 2 Commander (40), Lieutenant (42), Blade*** (50), Spy(46)
"I'm a vampire! Grr!"
A burst of giggles follows this, from the mouths of a pair of spies, a pyro and a commander. Blade is chasing them around the sofa in the living room, hands out in claw-like motions as he snaps his teeth at them.
"Gonna bite ya! Gonna BITE ya!"
More giggles and more chasing. Some of the other S.H.I.E.L.D staff watch on dispassionately. If this is Blade's way of picking up women, they don't want any part of it.
"Ooooh so biteable! C'mere you!"
Giggles.
Yeah, we don't know either.
(Note to editor: Cut this scene? Replace with yesterday's footage of Beast trying to do martial arts? Run commercials on athletes foot powder?? Anything would be better because honestly watching Blade be pathetic is just SAD.)
Third Time's The Charm -
Black Panther*** (74), Ragnarok*** (70), Doctor Octopus*** (71)
Black Panther and Doctor Octopus are busy. This wouldn't normally be something worrying, but what they are busy doing is reprogramming Ragnarok whilst he is in Recharge Mode. The back of his head is open and tangles of wires spill from the back of his head connecting to a small keyboard and screen.
"You're pretty good with computers." Black Panther complimented the Doctor, who shrugged.
"Could be better. Haven't taken over the world yet. Now, let's see....no, no....yes!"
Ragnarok's eyes light up and he speaks.
"Please state the nature of your medical emergency."
"No. Not right. Let me try again..." Doctor Octopus types some more.
"I'm sorry, Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that." Ragnarok replies.
"Not that either. Argh. It has to be here somewhere..." More typing.
"Shall we play a game?" Ragnarok queried.
"Damnit. Panther, hold this." Doctor Octopus hands Black Panther the keyboard, and fiddles with the wires and switches in Ragnarok's head. He then takes the keyboard back and types a little more.
"Danger! Danger, Will Robinson!" Ragnarok declares, jumping up and flailing his arms about. The wires snap and Ragnarok runs off toward the living room, becrying danger and flailing madly.
Panther and Octopus exchange a look.
"Um. Next time you suggest we build the Ultimate Dance Dance Revolution Machine, let's not use something with legs?" suggests Panther. Doctor Octopus agrees. They wonder whether they should chase after Ragnarok but ultimately decide "meh" and head off to find something to eat.
Dat Required Character -
Wolverine** (64), Black Widow** (60), Bullseye** (63)
Wolverine, Black Widow and Bullseye are sitting by the side of the swimming pool enjoying the afternoon sunshine. Looking out across the large compound, Wolverine spots Captain America dragging something from the vegetable patch, but he can't quite make out what it is. He's also a little creeped out by the fact that Widow and Bullseye are holding hands. Wolverine wants to say something about this, but who is he to judge? Plus, Natasha seems to be calling Bullseye "Hawkeye" so maybe they're just punking him or something. There's no way HE is gonna be fooled by that. Therefore, he says nothing.
"Hey, everyone, there's something going on with Ragnarok in the-oops!" Daredevil, who had come to warn the trio of Ragnarok's crazy flailing, stepped a fraction of an inch too far and landed in the pool with a heavy thud.
"Yeah, we really should fill this thing." Bullseye ventured.
The Big Enchilada -
Wave 1 Empiricist (99), Criterion (100), Control (105)
Wave 2 Luke Cage*** (112), Psylocke*** (111), Magneto*** (110)
Wave 3 Control (122), Control (121), Control(120)
Wave 4 Wolverine**** (130), Deadpool*** (132), Daredevil*** (131)
Evening falls on the Marvel Compound, and many of the residents (denizens?) are hard at work. There is precious little time left before their submission must be made for the Arts and Crafts competition. Not many of the heroes or villains really want to work together, or really even work on such a lame task as arts and crafts, but not a single one of them wants the DC Compound to even come close to winning. That would be a fate worse than watching a Marvel Movie where every character was played by Johnny Depp. So, they are busy. Mostly.
Flash to: Captain America, taking a moment to carry a pair of plates laden with steak and mashed potatoes to the garden shed. He's sure once he's explained to the spies that as Captain Freaking America he couldn't possibly have killed a singing telegram, everything will be fine. He will feed them and...and... Steve lets the plates drop to the floor as the rank stench of offal assaults his nostrils followed by the sharp tang of fresh blood. The spies are gone, but there are some...bits of them left behind. Chewed on bits. Steve closes up the garden shed and runs for the bathroom. How the hell is he going to explain THIS?
Flash to: Squirrel Girl, fast asleep as her Squirrel Minions attempt to create an elaborate tower of acorns painted silver and covered with glitter. The dance rehersal really wore her out.
Flash to: Hawkeye, Bullseye and Black Widow, sitting close together stitching and sewing new props for some hand puppets, which they think could really amaze the judges. There is a comfortable silence between the trio, but Bullseye does have That Smirk. You know the one. Black Widow isn't really sure which one is which, and...doesn't seem to mind. Hawkeye is just happy to be included again, once more part of the Puppet Show Troupe with his lady love.
Flash to: Ironman, in the kitchen getting a glass of water. Watch as he falls to the linoleum with a shriek, twitching madly. Listen as a brawler apologizes for electrocuting him, but he thought Tony was about to drink vodka or something.
Flash to: Beast, with Johnny Storm and a giant inflatable balloon as they paste strips of green paper to it. He's not sure who came up with the idea, but Beast is going to paint a giant eyeball on the sphere and call it Mike. Loki, in the background, giggles.
Flash to: Spiderman, hiding in his bedroom making a sticky ball of webbing in one of his socks. It could be an egg sac. Spiders do that, right? At least, we hope that's what he's doing. He has his bag beside him, his best friend and protector.
Flash to: Ragnarok, contained in the ballroom, arms still flailing madly as he screams "Danger! DANGER!" Someone should probably do something about that. Soon. You know, when there's a free moment.
Now:
"Come on, people, make it work!" Nick Fury declares, striding between the different groups of crafters, pointing out flaws here and handing out compliments there. "Fifteen minutes until tools down!"
There is a flurry of activity. Luke Cage and Magneto are attempting to paint eggs in delicate Faberge style. It looks more like Easter is coming early this year. Wolverine is whittling half a tree with his claws, trying to carve a stylized bear or moose or badger or something. Nobody can quite tell, but whatever it is it looks like it's fallen into an acid pit. Daredevil is building a house made out of playing cards. Not a single one of them is standing up, but nobody wants to tell him. He's so good at fighting crime, they wouldn't want to hurt his feelings.
"We don't have enough time!!" Psylocke wails, her neo-gothic pointilism painting of a duck on LSD only two thirds finished.
"WE CAN DO IT!" Nick yells.
But...no, no they can't. The problem with putting everything off until the last minute is that the last minute goes past really really quickly.
"Two minutes! Gather your **** and let's go!" Nick Fury yelled, ushering the panicked characters with their half-finished art projects outside toward the front gates where a small truck is waiting to take them to the judges.
Too late, too late. As they reach the gate the truck pulls away suddenly, driving off with a speed that suggests apparent terror of the driver. Maybe the sight of a pack of desperate heroes and villains carrying hideous and unfinished art freaked the poor guy out.
"DAMNIT!" Fury yelled at the sky. "I WILL NOT BE BEATEN BY THOSE DC SCUM!"
"I AM GROOT!" Groot declared, equally adamant.
"Uh, Nick?" Pyslocke reaches out and pulls anenvelope from its place, taped to the iron gates. She wordlessly hands it to her leader.
Nick looks at the envelope which contains a small, white card that simply says "Submission accepted." The leader of S.H.I.E.L.D glares around the gathered characters.
"Okay, who put something in that truck? Was it one of you extras?" he asks, looking at a gathering of mutants, maggia, hand and S.H.I.E.L.D agents. Nobody replies. Nick lets out some Very Naughty Words which absolutely need censoring for family viewing.
After some bickering, arguing, a few tears and a couple of halfhearted punches, the group heads back to the house, disappointed and confused.
Aftermath: Two Hours Later
Dear Marvel Compound,
The end goal of our first (and last) Arts and Crafts competition between the Marvel Compound and the DC Compound was meant to promote healthy rivalry and form closer bonds with some basic team-building exercises. This goal has, sadly, not been met.
The Marvel Compound's submission of one dead Singing Telegram along with two dead and half-eaten spies, wrapped up in fuscia crepe paper and liberally sprinkled with glitter and sequins is the second worst submission in the competition. The worst, unfortunately, was the DC Compound's "installation piece" which turned out to be the collected bodily waste of the entire compound for a week. Apparently SOMEone lost a "Bat Enema" down the toilet and completely ruined the plumbing.
As such, if we were actually allowing a winner in this travesty and/or tragety (our sponsor, Quaker Oats used the word "Farce" which we do not think is strong enough!) the trophy would go to the Marvel Compound.
HOWEVER, seeing as neither entry was actually fit for submission, both teams are disqualified and hereby banned from ever, ever, EVER entering the competition again at any time, past or future.
With a complete lack of regards,
L.J. Monsoon, Competition Judge.
Nick Fury scowled and screwed up the letter. He put two and two together.
"Where the tinykitty is Venom?" he demanded. "Who the hell uses fuscia?!"
Most Valued Resident: Daredevil (Blue) for getting the Participation Trophy. Someone had to.
Hawkeye** (15), Assassin (10), Assassin (10)
Hawkeye is a little confused. Last night, the door to Black Widow's room was locked and she sounded as if she were doing the puppet show without him. He never thought she'd leave the troupe to go solo, even if she DID seem to be able to do the male voices just as well as the female when he spent a couple of hours leaning against her door to listen. She's been avoiding him this morning so far, and he hasn't seen even a glimpse of her.
Two assassins, busy sharpening pool cues "just in case the game escalates", let him know that they saw Black Widow with Bullseye earlier that morning. Hawkeye is shocked - he can't think of any reason she would want to hang out with that crazy psychopath unless...unless...
"Well, damn!" Hawkeye exclaimed, suddenly realizing the depth of his troubles. "She's going to team up with him for the arts and crafts competition! That's not FAIR!"
The assassins exchange a look and a shake of the head. You just can't help some people.
Under The Sea -
Wave 1 Soldier (20), Lieutenant (22), Pyro (25), Spy (28)
Wave 2 Commander (40), Lieutenant (42), Blade*** (50), Spy(46)
"I'm a vampire! Grr!"
A burst of giggles follows this, from the mouths of a pair of spies, a pyro and a commander. Blade is chasing them around the sofa in the living room, hands out in claw-like motions as he snaps his teeth at them.
"Gonna bite ya! Gonna BITE ya!"
More giggles and more chasing. Some of the other S.H.I.E.L.D staff watch on dispassionately. If this is Blade's way of picking up women, they don't want any part of it.
"Ooooh so biteable! C'mere you!"
Giggles.
Yeah, we don't know either.
(Note to editor: Cut this scene? Replace with yesterday's footage of Beast trying to do martial arts? Run commercials on athletes foot powder?? Anything would be better because honestly watching Blade be pathetic is just SAD.)
Third Time's The Charm -
Black Panther*** (74), Ragnarok*** (70), Doctor Octopus*** (71)
Black Panther and Doctor Octopus are busy. This wouldn't normally be something worrying, but what they are busy doing is reprogramming Ragnarok whilst he is in Recharge Mode. The back of his head is open and tangles of wires spill from the back of his head connecting to a small keyboard and screen.
"You're pretty good with computers." Black Panther complimented the Doctor, who shrugged.
"Could be better. Haven't taken over the world yet. Now, let's see....no, no....yes!"
Ragnarok's eyes light up and he speaks.
"Please state the nature of your medical emergency."
"No. Not right. Let me try again..." Doctor Octopus types some more.
"I'm sorry, Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that." Ragnarok replies.
"Not that either. Argh. It has to be here somewhere..." More typing.
"Shall we play a game?" Ragnarok queried.
"Damnit. Panther, hold this." Doctor Octopus hands Black Panther the keyboard, and fiddles with the wires and switches in Ragnarok's head. He then takes the keyboard back and types a little more.
"Danger! Danger, Will Robinson!" Ragnarok declares, jumping up and flailing his arms about. The wires snap and Ragnarok runs off toward the living room, becrying danger and flailing madly.
Panther and Octopus exchange a look.
"Um. Next time you suggest we build the Ultimate Dance Dance Revolution Machine, let's not use something with legs?" suggests Panther. Doctor Octopus agrees. They wonder whether they should chase after Ragnarok but ultimately decide "meh" and head off to find something to eat.
Dat Required Character -
Wolverine** (64), Black Widow** (60), Bullseye** (63)
Wolverine, Black Widow and Bullseye are sitting by the side of the swimming pool enjoying the afternoon sunshine. Looking out across the large compound, Wolverine spots Captain America dragging something from the vegetable patch, but he can't quite make out what it is. He's also a little creeped out by the fact that Widow and Bullseye are holding hands. Wolverine wants to say something about this, but who is he to judge? Plus, Natasha seems to be calling Bullseye "Hawkeye" so maybe they're just punking him or something. There's no way HE is gonna be fooled by that. Therefore, he says nothing.
"Hey, everyone, there's something going on with Ragnarok in the-oops!" Daredevil, who had come to warn the trio of Ragnarok's crazy flailing, stepped a fraction of an inch too far and landed in the pool with a heavy thud.
"Yeah, we really should fill this thing." Bullseye ventured.
The Big Enchilada -
Wave 1 Empiricist (99), Criterion (100), Control (105)
Wave 2 Luke Cage*** (112), Psylocke*** (111), Magneto*** (110)
Wave 3 Control (122), Control (121), Control(120)
Wave 4 Wolverine**** (130), Deadpool*** (132), Daredevil*** (131)
Evening falls on the Marvel Compound, and many of the residents (denizens?) are hard at work. There is precious little time left before their submission must be made for the Arts and Crafts competition. Not many of the heroes or villains really want to work together, or really even work on such a lame task as arts and crafts, but not a single one of them wants the DC Compound to even come close to winning. That would be a fate worse than watching a Marvel Movie where every character was played by Johnny Depp. So, they are busy. Mostly.
Flash to: Captain America, taking a moment to carry a pair of plates laden with steak and mashed potatoes to the garden shed. He's sure once he's explained to the spies that as Captain Freaking America he couldn't possibly have killed a singing telegram, everything will be fine. He will feed them and...and... Steve lets the plates drop to the floor as the rank stench of offal assaults his nostrils followed by the sharp tang of fresh blood. The spies are gone, but there are some...bits of them left behind. Chewed on bits. Steve closes up the garden shed and runs for the bathroom. How the hell is he going to explain THIS?
Flash to: Squirrel Girl, fast asleep as her Squirrel Minions attempt to create an elaborate tower of acorns painted silver and covered with glitter. The dance rehersal really wore her out.
Flash to: Hawkeye, Bullseye and Black Widow, sitting close together stitching and sewing new props for some hand puppets, which they think could really amaze the judges. There is a comfortable silence between the trio, but Bullseye does have That Smirk. You know the one. Black Widow isn't really sure which one is which, and...doesn't seem to mind. Hawkeye is just happy to be included again, once more part of the Puppet Show Troupe with his lady love.
Flash to: Ironman, in the kitchen getting a glass of water. Watch as he falls to the linoleum with a shriek, twitching madly. Listen as a brawler apologizes for electrocuting him, but he thought Tony was about to drink vodka or something.
Flash to: Beast, with Johnny Storm and a giant inflatable balloon as they paste strips of green paper to it. He's not sure who came up with the idea, but Beast is going to paint a giant eyeball on the sphere and call it Mike. Loki, in the background, giggles.
Flash to: Spiderman, hiding in his bedroom making a sticky ball of webbing in one of his socks. It could be an egg sac. Spiders do that, right? At least, we hope that's what he's doing. He has his bag beside him, his best friend and protector.
Flash to: Ragnarok, contained in the ballroom, arms still flailing madly as he screams "Danger! DANGER!" Someone should probably do something about that. Soon. You know, when there's a free moment.
Now:
"Come on, people, make it work!" Nick Fury declares, striding between the different groups of crafters, pointing out flaws here and handing out compliments there. "Fifteen minutes until tools down!"
There is a flurry of activity. Luke Cage and Magneto are attempting to paint eggs in delicate Faberge style. It looks more like Easter is coming early this year. Wolverine is whittling half a tree with his claws, trying to carve a stylized bear or moose or badger or something. Nobody can quite tell, but whatever it is it looks like it's fallen into an acid pit. Daredevil is building a house made out of playing cards. Not a single one of them is standing up, but nobody wants to tell him. He's so good at fighting crime, they wouldn't want to hurt his feelings.
"We don't have enough time!!" Psylocke wails, her neo-gothic pointilism painting of a duck on LSD only two thirds finished.
"WE CAN DO IT!" Nick yells.
But...no, no they can't. The problem with putting everything off until the last minute is that the last minute goes past really really quickly.
"Two minutes! Gather your **** and let's go!" Nick Fury yelled, ushering the panicked characters with their half-finished art projects outside toward the front gates where a small truck is waiting to take them to the judges.
Too late, too late. As they reach the gate the truck pulls away suddenly, driving off with a speed that suggests apparent terror of the driver. Maybe the sight of a pack of desperate heroes and villains carrying hideous and unfinished art freaked the poor guy out.
"DAMNIT!" Fury yelled at the sky. "I WILL NOT BE BEATEN BY THOSE DC SCUM!"
"I AM GROOT!" Groot declared, equally adamant.
"Uh, Nick?" Pyslocke reaches out and pulls anenvelope from its place, taped to the iron gates. She wordlessly hands it to her leader.
Nick looks at the envelope which contains a small, white card that simply says "Submission accepted." The leader of S.H.I.E.L.D glares around the gathered characters.
"Okay, who put something in that truck? Was it one of you extras?" he asks, looking at a gathering of mutants, maggia, hand and S.H.I.E.L.D agents. Nobody replies. Nick lets out some Very Naughty Words which absolutely need censoring for family viewing.
After some bickering, arguing, a few tears and a couple of halfhearted punches, the group heads back to the house, disappointed and confused.
Aftermath: Two Hours Later
Dear Marvel Compound,
The end goal of our first (and last) Arts and Crafts competition between the Marvel Compound and the DC Compound was meant to promote healthy rivalry and form closer bonds with some basic team-building exercises. This goal has, sadly, not been met.
The Marvel Compound's submission of one dead Singing Telegram along with two dead and half-eaten spies, wrapped up in fuscia crepe paper and liberally sprinkled with glitter and sequins is the second worst submission in the competition. The worst, unfortunately, was the DC Compound's "installation piece" which turned out to be the collected bodily waste of the entire compound for a week. Apparently SOMEone lost a "Bat Enema" down the toilet and completely ruined the plumbing.
As such, if we were actually allowing a winner in this travesty and/or tragety (our sponsor, Quaker Oats used the word "Farce" which we do not think is strong enough!) the trophy would go to the Marvel Compound.
HOWEVER, seeing as neither entry was actually fit for submission, both teams are disqualified and hereby banned from ever, ever, EVER entering the competition again at any time, past or future.
With a complete lack of regards,
L.J. Monsoon, Competition Judge.
Nick Fury scowled and screwed up the letter. He put two and two together.
"Where the tinykitty is Venom?" he demanded. "Who the hell uses fuscia?!"
Most Valued Resident: Daredevil (Blue) for getting the Participation Trophy. Someone had to.
Tune in after the break for the next possibly exciting episode!
0
Comments
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R&G should be green cover, right?
at least storm is out of the way and the rest are actually needed. come to me sweet luke red
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thanos8587 wrote:R&G should be green cover, right?
It, like, totally is. *shifty look, mutterings about lack of sleep*
Heh. Thanks for catching that.0 -
Nice one! Great story line. I am actually imagining the characters as I read this.
Love Storm here. Lol on Widow.
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thanos8587 wrote:R&G should be green cover, right?
at least storm is out of the way and the rest are actually needed. come to me sweet luke red
Out of the way and rewarded for the Big Enchilada I have the most trouble with, the 3 Teisatsu wave. Already had her yellow maxed, one of the few 3* colors I have maxed. Nice to get that bonus 500 ISO today!0 -
Do Taco tokens evaporate if they go over a certain number? I've got 20 stockpiled right now and thought I remembered someone reporting some weird behavior with them.0
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I would love to spend some tokens to get Cage's third red cover (going for 5/3/5) or any Grocket cover (currently 1/0/0), but since I don't know which week IF will be in I hesitate to spend any tokens. I think IF will see much more use in my teams than Cage and he is only 1/1/3 so he needs covers badly. Any of the 3 colors would be fine really so fingers crossed the 25-30 covers will give at least 1 of them. Based on my luck so far (only one 3
out of 31 tokens) it's a tough deal. 0 -
I think I remember reading that some players have 60+, but I don't think they posted anything about problems. I am at 20+18 so I can't help with the question, but if this is true I'd also like to know.Ben Grimm wrote:Do Taco tokens evaporate if they go over a certain number? I've got 20 stockpiled right now and thought I remembered someone reporting some weird behavior with them.0 -
I don't know why, but man, the ninjas always give me problems.
Every other set of waves, I breeze through easily. Except the damn ninjas... Takes me at least a few runs to get through.0 -
Narkon wrote:
I think I remember reading that some players have 60+, but I don't think they posted anything about problems. I am at 20+18 so I can't help with the question, but if this is true I'd also like to know.Ben Grimm wrote:Do Taco tokens evaporate if they go over a certain number? I've got 20 stockpiled right now and thought I remembered someone reporting some weird behavior with them.
No one should have 60+ saved. We are in round 8 with a 2 week cycle, so math:
10 tokens/cycle times 4 cycles= 40 tokens for the first set0 -
Huh...
didn't appear for me during the 2nd mission (wave), not sure whether because 
speedshot popped right after the 1st wave as all I saw was Criterion & Decoys :-/ Must've been KO'd straightaway & Criterion quickly took his place. 0 -
Quebbster wrote:Black Panther today, Magneto tomorrow. This means they might have a set cover order now, which would mean future sets would be:
Storm Yellow, Luke Cage Red, Rocket & Groot Green, Spider-Man Blue, Daredevil Blue
She-Hulk Green, Deadpool Purple, Gamora Red, GSBW Red, Loki Purple
Daken Black, Squirrel Girl Purple, Doctor Doom Blue, Mystique Blue, Hulk Red
Falcon Blue, Psylocke Blue, Beast Green, Capt. America Red, Sentry Green
Punisher Green, Blade Purple, Wolverine Red, Human Torch Black, Colossus Red
Cyclops Yellow, The Hood Blue, Doc Ock Black, Thor Yellow, Captain Marvel Black
Assuming they don't interject Iron Fist or Ragnarok somewhere in the cycle of course.
Looks like the pattern holds. Guess I'll open my stockpile next week and hope for Loki Green or Gamora Black/Red.0 -
Yeah, I meant 60+ total which would be 30+ for each set, assuming those who save them, saved ALL of them.fakeaseizure wrote:Narkon wrote:
I think I remember reading that some players have 60+, but I don't think they posted anything about problems. I am at 20+18 so I can't help with the question, but if this is true I'd also like to know.Ben Grimm wrote:Do Taco tokens evaporate if they go over a certain number? I've got 20 stockpiled right now and thought I remembered someone reporting some weird behavior with them.
No one should have 60+ saved. We are in round 8 with a 2 week cycle, so math:
10 tokens/cycle times 4 cycles= 40 tokens for the first set0 -
What is the point in saving taco tokens? Do you do the same with other tokens too?0
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Kcman13 wrote:What is the point in saving taco tokens? Do you do the same with other tokens too?
The tacos can "only" award: 2*s, HP, or one of the 3*s in the current 5-day rotation. If you already have all those 3*s fully covered then it makes sense to save the token until it's active during a 5-day rotation set of 3*s that you want/need.0 -
I can't wait for the Daredevil Blue. I have been trying to get that cover since his release. I have a 5/0/5. Everytime he was a reward it was purple or red. I can't count how many of those I sold.0
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darkmagearcanis wrote:I can't wait for the Daredevil Blue. I have been trying to get that cover since his release. I have a 5/0/5. Everytime he was a reward it was purple or red. I can't count how many of those I sold.
My psychic senses tell me Groot will be tomorrow, so you might still have a day or two to wait. I hope it's groot, anyways. I already wrote tomorrow's bits and if I have to think on the fly at 6am it could get messy.0 -
You can accumulate up to 20 in the current cycle (and will draw from that cycle's *** offerings) and then the excess bleed off into a secondary "generic" stockpile (which I believe are then locked to their original cycle's covers), or so it has worked for me so far.Ben Grimm wrote:Do Taco tokens evaporate if they go over a certain number? I've got 20 stockpiled right now and thought I remembered someone reporting some weird behavior with them.0 -
As far as strange behavior with the taco tokens, I saved a week's worth once, and when the next week started I had two seperate pages of taco tokens. I believe this is because they have different probabilities each week, favoring the featured characters. So I don't think that saving/hoarding tokens for a specific character will work.0
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love the write-ups to make the story, great work. Also, thanks for posting the pattern so we can all determine what/ when to expect for new covers.
In response to the other posts regarding hoarding covers, I have 83 atm and have been collecting for the last week(gauntlet, lightning rounds, pvp events, etc..). Not sure what I will get but I am hoping it will be like Christmas! Here is the breakdown of what I have:
- 62 standard
- 1 heroic (350 pts. away from from the heroic 10-pack and still need to start the Krack pvp event and plenty to do in the simulator so that will be 11)
- 2 from the Gauntlet
- 1 from Fatal Attraction
- 5 from DDQ
- 1 from Hotshot
- 3 from Dark Avengers: Heroic
- 7 from last week's DDQ
- 1 from Mind Games
I will update this post when I cash them in after the season.
Edited to reflect current token count.0 -
Never thought I'd say this...but with DDQ I have too many covers and not enough ISO. Seriously.0
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