You MIGHT be a veteran player if...

Cactus_Jack_87Cactus_Jack_87 Posts: 210 Tile Toppler
edited September 2019 in MPQ General Discussion
After reading @DAZ0273's post about "What is a 'veteran' player?", I got to brainstorming of some of the more fun and silly things that can define a veteran player. Of course, it is highly encourage to read all of these in Jeff Foxworthy’s voice, American icon and national treasure that he is. Feel free to share if you think of any more! These are in no particular order, and are only numbered so you can tag and specifically accuse people that you know have been guilty of some of these :D

 

1. If you have ever pulled over on the side of the road to snipe someone in PVP…you might be a veteran player.

 

2. If you can not only recognize friends and foes by their names in PVP, but also remember their alliance, roster, and funny things they’ve said on the forum or LINE app… you might be a veteran player.


3. If you have ever disrupted your precious REM sleep so you could get an extra cover in a new release PVE event…you might be a veteran player (you get the theme, I’ll let you fill in the blank at the end at this point).

 

4. If you have posted at least a dozen screen shots of new boards against 4* Teen Jean, where there are two critical matches waiting there taunting you…

 

5. If you roll your eyes at the newer players that grind early in PVE and they post their 1st place status to Facebook saying, “First place, hope it keeps!” when you know darn well that you used to do the same exact thing…

 

6. If you have ever scoffed at someone for asking if you’re playing “Candy Crush” and you try to convince them that MPQ is not even close…


7. If you have ever based your day around doing DPQ, PVP climb, Lightning Rounds, PVE clears, PVP hops, boss event, PVE grind, forum posts, LINE coordination, and Discord discussion, and then realize there is only another 5 or so hours left in the day...

8. If you have ever actively sought out someone to hit in PVP because they said something you disagreed with on the forums…


9. If you have ever literally fallen asleep while doing your PVE clears, but you wake up and you still managed to get optimal clears...


10. If you have dumped more points in PVP than most players have earned in PVP…


11. If you have ever been tempted to request that your spouse start referring to you by your MPQ name...


12. If you remember bragging on Myspace that you finally beat Ragnarok in prologue…


13. If you have convinced yourself that it is perfectly reasonable to spend more money on an MPQ costume and tchotchke than taking your entire family out for a Shoney's meal (and still have enough to generously tip your server and go for ice cream after)...


14. If your multiple maxed out Bag-Mans are more treasured than any trophy you could ever possess in real life...


15. If you have ever faked gastrointestinal distress during a work meeting so you could reset your shield in PVP…


16. If you have ever decided to pass on that lakeside home with an early retirement, and instead go with a set of 550s so you can match three with ultimate power…

 

17. If you have played MPQ in a movie theater, during the actual movie…


18. If you have had a heated discussion in the "pink or purple" debate...


19. If you have a tattoo of your MPQ alliance...


20. If you look forward to red lights while driving so you can play a quick match of MPQ...


21. If you realize that getting hit in PVP is not just someone innocently playing against you in a mobile phone video game, but is actually a personal attack against you, your character, and a blatant act of disrespect which must be quickly and severely repaid in kind...

 

22. If you have played MPQ in the shower…


23. If you have ever taken the time to read your allies' TU requests in the in-game chat, carefully cycle through your roster to find what they asked for, and laugh as you send Bag-Man TUs instead...

 

24. If you can call the Swarm with a straight face…

 

25. If you go to Discord to tell the devs what an awesome job they’re doing, and then go to LINE to complain about what a terrible job they’re doing…

 

26. If you feel like James Bond when “less informed” players wonder who the next character will be, but you’ve already seen the spoiler info…

 

27. If you forgot that sound and animations exist in this game…


28. If you have learned a new foreign language just from PVP coordination with your allies on the LINE app...


29. If you have ever tried to impress someone by bragging about your high-level Howard and Dino, but the committee at your doctoral dissertation have no idea what you're talking about...

 

30. If qqq, xws, #, R, grilling, dumping are part of your daily vocabulary…

 

31. If you open up your phone just to stare at your hoard. Just to look at it…

 

32. If you have ever thought of a LINE sticker that would be a perfect response to a real-life, face to face conversation…

 

33. If a friend or family member busts down the bathroom door because they think that you died, but you were really just doing your PVE clears and grind for next sub…

 

34. If you talk to your MPQ friends more than your RL friends (not that this is a bad thing)…

 

35. If you have had actual nightmares about opening your hoard before it’s time…

 

36. If you have played enough MPQ to become an expert under the “10,000 hour rule,” and get depressed when you realize you could have mastered an instrument or new skill instead…


37. If you have ever posted on the forums about retiring, and then realize that life is bleak and miserable without MPQ so you come back "George Costanza" style a few months later, pretending that you never left…https://youtu.be/IW78swzn_tinykitty?t=66


If you have done any (OR ALL) of these...then you MIGHT be a veteran MPQ player.
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Comments

  • GreenroomGreenroom Posts: 44 Just Dropped In
    MPQ tattoos!?!?!?  Creepy Iceman would be terrifying inked on human flesh.

    Think my favorite is the spouse one: "Babe, just for tonight, Can you call me Stinkypete14"

    But my own...

    You might be an MPQ veteran if you played at launch, quit out of anger when the very first "required character" node appeared only to decide years later that, despite its warts, this is the perfect mobile game for you and came crawling back and poured hours and hours a day into it for over 500 days straight while thinking multiple times a day just how amazing your roster could be if youd stuck it out that whole time
  • pheregaspheregas Posts: 1,368 Chairperson of the Boards


    14. If your multiple maxed out Bag-Mans are more treasured than any trophy you could ever possess in real life...


    Too real!  Just champed my fourth Bagman over the weekend!
  • DrNitromanDrNitroman Posts: 962 Critical Contributor
    7. If you have ever based your day around doing DPQ, PVP climb, Lightning Rounds, PVE clears, PVP hops, boss event, PVE grind, forum posts, LINE coordination, and Discord discussion, and then realize there is only another 5 or so hours left in the day...

    Guilty...
  • JackTenrecJackTenrec Posts: 799 Critical Contributor
    If you keep wondering where the forum emojis for all of the characters in MPQ are.
  • TrerasTreras Posts: 43 Just Dropped In
    18 - It's Magenta...

  • The Viceroy ReturnsThe Viceroy Returns Posts: 447 Mover and Shaker
    Great list.
    Here's the ones applicable to me:
    After reading @DAZ0273's post about "What is a 'veteran' player?", I got to brainstorming of some of the more fun and silly things that can define a veteran player. Of course, it is highly encourage to read all of these in Jeff Foxworthy’s voice, American icon and national treasure that he is. Feel free to share if you think of any more! These are in no particular order, and are only numbered so you can tag and specifically accuse people that you know have been guilty of some of these :D

     

    1. If you have ever pulled over on the side of the road to snipe someone in PVP…you might be a veteran player.


    Have done this for PVE during the final hour of a sub before multiple times...
    3. If you have ever disrupted your precious REM sleep so you could get an extra cover in a new release PVE event…you might be a veteran player (you get the theme, I’ll let you fill in the blank at the end at this point).


    Does always picking the time slice that ends at 1 AM local time (Slice 5) count?
    6. If you have ever scoffed at someone for asking if you’re playing “Candy Crush” and you try to convince them that MPQ is not even close…


    This might have happened...
    7. If you have ever based your day around doing DPQ, PVP climb, Lightning Rounds, PVE clears, PVP hops, boss event, PVE grind, forum posts, LINE coordination, and Discord discussion, and then realize there is only another 5 or so hours left in the day...


    This is my life now. Or at least has been the past 3+ years or so.
    9. If you have ever literally fallen asleep while doing your PVE clears, but you wake up and you still managed to get optimal clears...


    Similar to #3, but yes. Though most times I fall out of t20 when this happens.
    14. If your multiple maxed out Bag-Mans are more treasured than any trophy you could ever possess in real life...


    Let's be real. Even having ONE maxed Bag-Man is a qualifier for MPQAA. Which I do have.
    17. If you have played MPQ in a movie theater, during the actual movie…


    Do the coming attractions count?
    18. If you have had a heated discussion in the "pink or purple" debate...


    Haven't really gotten involved in this too much.  But it's Purple.
    20. If you look forward to red lights while driving so you can play a quick match of MPQ...


    I ALSO like to live dangerously...
    27. If you forgot that sound and animations exist in this game…


    Animations are off, but I still use the SFX playing under whatever music I listen to.
    36. If you have played enough MPQ to become an expert under the “10,000 hour rule,” and get depressed when you realize you could have mastered an instrument or new skill instead…


    The reason MMO players never use the /played command. And those PS1 RPG's that would tease you with their always increasing "Time Played" Clock. Final Fantasy Tactics I'm looking at you...
    37. If you have ever posted on the forums about retiring, and then realize that life is bleak and miserable without MPQ so you come back "George Costanza" style a few months later, pretending that you never left…https://youtu.be/IW78swzn_tinykitty?t=66


    Will probably be me after this year's Anniversary.
  • Waddles_PinesWaddles_Pines Posts: 740 Critical Contributor
    edited September 2019
    38) If you remember real environmental tiles, and want real hot dog carts back...

    Also, was binging The Good Place over the weekend... @Cactus_Jack_87 Jeff Foxworthy you say... hmmm

    Image result for the good place jeff foxworthy
  • Wonko33Wonko33 Posts: 887 Critical Contributor
    edited September 2019
    If your biological poop cycle is now perfectly adjusted to PVE clear times, and that's why you hate boss events
  • sambrookjmsambrookjm Posts: 1,576 Chairperson of the Boards
    Wonko33 said:
    If your biological poop cycle is now perfectly adjusted to PVE clear times, and that's why you hate boss events
    I'm somewhat disturbed that this got an "Insightful" before it got a "Like."  Of course, I'd also be disturbed if it got a "Like" so maybe it's just me...
  • DarthDeVoDarthDeVo Posts: 1,989 Chairperson of the Boards
    edited September 2019
    Cactus_Jack_87 said:


    4. If you have posted at least a dozen screen shots of new boards against 4* Teen Jean, where there are two critical matches waiting there taunting you…

    35. If you have had actual nightmares about opening your hoard before it’s time…


    If you have done any (OR ALL) of these...then you MIGHT be a veteran MPQ player.
    For the first one, I humbly submit...

    https://photos.app.goo.gl/fh6S3zo2PhtQbXVM7

    And for the second, I don't think that's necessarily happened concerning my hoard, but I've definitely woken up in a panic because I nodded off before resetting my shield. Sometimes I've been lucky, other times less so. 

    And with that, I'll add:

    If you've ever set an alarm "just in case" to wake up for your PvE grind or to reset a PvP shield because you're exhausted and just can't keep your eyes open any longer...

    You've gotten up off the couch or out of bed to stand up or walk around during your grind/hop because you were nodding off...

    You get less sleep than you should because you're waiting around to catch more grills so you'll have something to hop with in the morning...

    You've had a significant other drive the car so you can get your grind/initial clears in...


  • Cactus_Jack_87Cactus_Jack_87 Posts: 210 Tile Toppler
    DarthDeVo said:


    You've had a significant other drive the car so you can get your grind/initial clears in...


    Uff, this one has gotten me in trouble! 😂 
  • Daredevil217Daredevil217 Posts: 2,506 Chairperson of the Boards
    God. There’s a lot that actually apply to me even though they’re supposed to be jokes. I’ve...

    - played in the shower
    - played while driving
    - played during a movie (two actually)
    messed up my sleep for OLD covers (not even for new releases)
    - thought of my Bag-Men as the greatest trophy ever
    - made friends
    - made enemies
    - made friends of enemies (once I transitioned)
    - Made enemies of friends (again after transitioning)
    - played LRs sitting in meetings at work
    - “hid out” in the bathroom to do clears (both at work and at family’s house)
    - played during sex
    - passed on sex to play
    - conditioned my friends to know what “I need to grind” means 
    - scheduled meetings around grind times
    - played under the table during Christmas dinner
    - set alarms for every two hours for LRs

    I might be a vet... might not... but I’m for sure a full blown addict. 
  • Lopan15Lopan15 Posts: 222 Tile Toppler
    DarthDeVo said:


    You've had a significant other drive the car so you can get your grind/initial clears in...


    Uff, this one has gotten me in trouble! 😂 
    Luckily my wife is addicted to a different mobile game so she understands and I drive while she grinds as well.
  • peterdarkpeterdark Posts: 133 Tile Toppler
    Greenroom said:
    MPQ tattoos!?!?!?  Creepy Iceman would be terrifying inked on human flesh.

    Think my favorite is the spouse one: "Babe, just for tonight, Can you call me Stinkypete14"

    But my own...

    You might be an MPQ veteran if you played at launch, quit out of anger when the very first "required character" node appeared only to decide years later that, despite its warts, this is the perfect mobile game for you and came crawling back and poured hours and hours a day into it for over 500 days straight while thinking multiple times a day just how amazing your roster could be if youd stuck it out that whole time
    This is kind of what happened to me. I had other things going on in RL but when i realised that i needed more HP for a roster slot for 3* storm it pushed me over the edge can gave the game up. Came back a lot later and started thinking the same thing.
  • KishidaKishida Posts: 310 Mover and Shaker

    24. If you can call the Swarm with a straight face…

    I can believe the rest of these, but ^this^ I cannot take seriously.
    No one can do this.
  • The rockettThe rockett Posts: 1,883 Chairperson of the Boards

    Oh this is a GREAT list @cactus_Jack_87 and speaks too me so much.  Maybe cause we have played together for so long.

    1. If you have ever pulled over on the side of the road to snipe someone in PVP…you might be a veteran player.

    -Why pull over?  Snipe them anytime!!


    8. If you have ever actively sought out someone to hit in PVP because they said something you disagreed with on the forums…

    -Or Discord or LINE or....yes of course. 


    10. If you have dumped more points in PVP than most players have earned in PVP…

    -Or had a shield drop of 3200+ points...


    15. If you have ever faked gastrointestinal distress during a work meeting so you could reset your shield in PVP…

    -Or to do PVE clears


    18. If you have had a heated discussion in the "pink or purple" debate...

    -And then used 5* Thanos to prove them wrong


    22. If you have played MPQ in the shower…


    23. If you have ever taken the time to read your allies' TU requests in the in-game chat, carefully cycle through your roster to find what they asked for, and laugh as you send Bag-Man TUs instead...

    -Oh too many times.


    30. If qqq, xws, #, R, grilling, dumping are part of your daily vocabulary…

    -Too sad but true.


    32. If you have ever thought of a LINE sticker that would be a perfect response to a real-life, face to face conversation…

    -Again, too many times or in a text with somebody. 


    Some to add

    -You have more SS of hitting people then of your family on your phone.

    -You get into an ally that you do not like, get TU from them, hit them while using said TU and then sending them the SS of you hitting them with the TU they gave you.

    -You know exactly when certain people will be active due to where they live and how they operate.  Then you plan around that to try and snipe them.

    -You have been around long enough to have somebody hate you, until they see how you truly are, then become good friends with them.

    -You have a snipe event with friends and count who got the most Bag Man covers from the event.

  • Cactus_Jack_87Cactus_Jack_87 Posts: 210 Tile Toppler
    SnowcaTT said:
    If you have enough time to post a list like this.

    Pickle.
    You know you read it all! BTW, I still have your Bag-Man TUs.
  • Cactus_Jack_87Cactus_Jack_87 Posts: 210 Tile Toppler

    -You get into an ally that you do not like, get TU from them, hit them while using said TU and then sending them the SS of you hitting them with the TU they gave you.

    This is truly diabolical :D
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