Punisher’s Warzone Chat with Special Guests from D3/Demiurge

Punisher5784

Advisory for “D3/Demiurge” Chats: The events depicted in these forum posts are fictitious and completely satirical. These events are loosely based on the forum player’s perception of the game and are for entertainment purposes only. The talk show is not real and the characters that represent D3, Demiurge or the Forum are not the real people. Any similarly to the actual employees in those companies or potential upcoming in-game features/characters/events are merely coincidental.

Previous Post: https://forums.d3go.com/discussion/72322/season-2-part-1-d3-demiurge-meeting-support-the-supports/p1

Greetings all,

Punisher here. You may recall I was the writer and director of the forum show, ‘Meeting with D3/Demiurge’. Well I seemed to have ruffled some feathers with the first episode of Season 2 and the network threatened to cancel my show. As a result, I decided to try a new format in the form of a Talk Show with me as the Host. My guests are the cast from the D3/Demiurge show, so let’s bring them out!

 

::Metallica ‘Enter Sandman’ plays::  

::Cast members from D3/Demiurge come out. The Director, CFO, Analysts, and Developers come to the talk show floor and sit down::

Punisher: Hello scum.. err I mean hello gentlemen

Director: Hello Frank. Pleasure to finally meet the man whose been talking badly about us

CFO: Yeah I do not like the way you display me on the show. You make me look like a money hungry idiot!

Developer 2: Exactly! We work really really hard implementing really cool features like Supports, then you show off your guns to make us look like we’re lazy and don’t care about the players.

Punisher: Now now children, don’t get your panties in a bunch. It is simply constructive criticism. Sure, the players can be harsh but we also play MPQ as if it were our second job. Can you imagine what it’s like to be a player?

CFO: Frank, I don’t think the players realize that we actually do play our own game. The game is not that difficult or time-consuming. I just finished the Prologue. It was alittle tough fighting off Juggernaut but I did it on my own time and finished all chapters within 1-year. I also did not have to spend any money, now that’s value!

Punisher: This is why I think you are an idiot! It’s people like you that should be punished.. but my therapist told me I need to work on being in a relaxed state.. ::talks to himself repeating ‘we all make mistakes’::

Director: I don’t know what you’re mumbling over there but we’ve made a ton of progress in the past 5-years. We started the game with only a handful of characters and now we have over a 100 in various tiers. We consistently create new events and implement features. What more do you want from us? We’re just a small company utilizing the Marvel license to bring entertainment to your mobile device.

Punisher: Sounds like you forgot about your Steam players again, but nonetheless I am glad you brought up the Marvel license. I’ve been hearing some rumblings that many players are leaving MPQ to venture onto another Marvel licensed game. How do you feel about that?

Analyst 2: I can answer this. We’ve heard these rumors too but the numbers speak louder than words. Our player-base is still strong and still growing. Our statistics also show that those same players that leave also come back within a few months. We feel we have nothing to worry about.

Punisher: Care to share those numbers? We feel like we’re in the dark over here.

Director: We do not disclose our statistics, especially to someone like you who will twist our numbers to make us look bad, like the ‘10%’ debacle with OML. He needed to be nerfed. It was a necessity to the balance of the game.

Punisher: The loss of healthpack sales wasn’t the main reason?

Director: Again, the game needed balance. It was unfair to players to consistently face OML in Versus. Since then, the players see a variety of different characters to face. I used to see undercovered OML, now it’s back to the challenging but more fair 3* Ironfist teams.

Punisher: The more you guys talk, the more it looks like you don’t play at the same level as your forum playerbase. Nonetheless, you talk about balance, yet Gambit is still running the streets. I’m sick of this guy.. I want to blow his face off, but he’s constantly destroying my AP, while generating free AP for himself. What’s the update? Will he finally receive the nerf he deserves?

Developer 1: We’ve already nerfed Gambit. His black no longer generates AP. The black is now an active power at 5AP to create charged tiles while also dealing damage to his teammates. This was a very fair approach to the oversight on an overpowered character we created.

Punisher: You guys must think I’m real stupid. I fought a ton of guys in the war, but I never once faced someone who thought I was that naive. You know I am talking about 5* Gambit!!

Developer 2: Oh.. that one. Well we also rebalanced him too, so we’re good there but hey there’s plenty of great characters to counter Gambit like Archangel!

Punisher: Funny.. real funny jerk. How about applying that 3* nerf to the 5* version?

Director: The truth is, Frank, we can’t. We cannot rebalance a character twice.

Punisher: I’ve been playing for a long time.. you rebalanced Elektra twice, who still stinks up the bathroom stall, and you also rebalanced IW.. eh Invisible Woman three times! Enough with the excuses already.

Director: You’re correct but unfortunately under Marvel licensing we can only rebalance a character once a year plus we need approvals from Marvel which can take several months.

Punisher: Again, I’m no fool. You rebalanced Carnage twice within the matter of weeks! His first rebalance felt more like a nerf, we complained, then he was rebalanced again. What’s your excuse this time?

CFO: You have very good memory about useless MPQ knowledge, Mr. Castle, but yes, you’re right again. After the quick Carnage fix, Marvel slapped us with a very huge penalty. This is why Kingpin was not ‘fixed’ after players complained his rebalance.

Punisher: Okay well Gambit was nerfed in December of last year. Let’s go already!

Director: It’s not that simple. Enough of this topic, let’s move onto something else.

Punisher: Fine. Can we expect more Infinity War goodies and events?

Director: Goodies, Frank? Well sir, we’ve already given plenty with free tokens. We have new characters and new supports too. We feel we’ve given the players plenty of excitement

Punisher: Excitement? I had more excitement chiseling a bullet out of my leg. Infinity War was built-up of 10yrs of Marvel movies, yet this is all MPQ gets?

Developer 1: We have exciting things to come. You just have to be patient, Mr. Castle.

Punisher: I’ll show you tinykitty patience… tinykitty? Whose censoring my show?!

Howard the Duck: Quack, Quack. Keep it PG, Frank.

Punisher: Who the tinykitty are you to tell me what to do on my own show? Who invited Howard the Duck?

Howard the Duck: ::Holds up the yellow flag:: That’s a warning! Family friendly, Frank.

Punisher: Too many rules!! Ahhhhhhhhhh!!! ::picks up a chair::

::Show goes off the air::

Community Manager: Sorry folks. This show is cancelled for violence and profanity.

 

 

Until next time matchmakers! Maybe.. probably not. Happy matching!

madoctor

LOL I lost it at the duck part!!

The rockett

HAHAHAH.  My man!!!   Great job. 

ursopro

A masterpiece

Merrick

Here is an actual interview from d3. https://www.destructoid.com/marvel-puzzle-quest-developer-q-a-497633.phtml

Yours is more honest, but not as funny. 
OML “devestating”. 

Punisher5784

Merrick said:

Here is an actual interview from d3. https://www.destructoid.com/marvel-puzzle-quest-developer-q-a-497633.phtml

Yours is more honest, but not as funny. 
OML “devestating”. 

Haha I just read that too! I feel like they tried to copy me!

The rockett

Wait.  What’s Gauntlet?  Oh the event we haven’t had for a year?  No mention of Rockett and Groot or Medusa in 4* range?   Oh and that OML quote.  Priceless.  

AlwaysWrong

Yeah, I'd love to run with a Panthos/Stran5e team as well, but good luck getting that from classics...

And apparently GSBW is so popular she gets mentioned twice!

tfcrazy1980

Oh man, this is the only thing on the forum left that i look foward to anymore! Quack!!

Nick441234

Merrick said:

Here is an actual interview from d3. https://www.destructoid.com/marvel-puzzle-quest-developer-q-a-497633.phtml

Yours is more honest, but not as funny. 
OML “devestating”. 

I know Josh is somewhat joking at the end but I feel like he almost had a fit when they asked for free stuff. 

Punisher5784

Thank you everyone for the feedback on the Forum, Messages and LINE.

However, understandably I received word that this post was much more aggressive than the previous ones. I want to point out that I tried to create the post as the character Punisher, not as myself (Punisher5784). That is why Punisher comes across as aggressive because I was trying to represent the character. Punisher is not exactly an constructive person but the point of our concerns and frustrations is still valid. Nonetheless, if anyone is upset or offended by this post then I sincerely apologize.

With that said, if I decide or I am allowed to continue these posts, the 'Talk Show' format will not be used and I will return to the 'Meeting' style or something less demeaning to get our point across. Again, I appreciate the feedback from everyone and I hope we can continue to have entertaining posts on the forums.

Take care and keep on matching!

The rockett

@Punisher5784 while a lot of people might not come here and post comments, trust me, you have a massive fan base and support from the Line community.  Hope to still see this very well thought out and FUN posts.  

ursopro

Punisher5784 said:

However, understandably I received word that this post was much more aggressive than the previous ones.

Unless is word from the upper management about an incoming ban I wouldn't pay attention to it.

BoyWonder1914

Merrick said:

Here is an actual interview from d3. https://www.destructoid.com/marvel-puzzle-quest-developer-q-a-497633.phtml

Yours is more honest, but not as funny. 
OML “devestating”. 

The "Isay Isay" user's comments after the article were pretty funny and accurate. 

On another note though, thanks Punisher. These are always a treat. 

abmoraz

madoctor said:

LOL I lost it at the duck part!!

Howard the Ducky: One part Moderator, One part Horrible (movie|mpq character), all parts business.

Spiritclaw

Merrick said:

Here is an actual interview from d3. https://www.destructoid.com/marvel-puzzle-quest-developer-q-a-497633.phtml

Yours is more honest, but not as funny. 
OML “devestating”. 

From the Interview:

Josh: The team has been itching to add Cable to the roster, and a new version of Juggernaut would be great as he’s a powerful 1-Star and needs to be improved. We’d love to get the Skrulls in the game as a new enemy variant, and add an adult version of Iceman since we have the kid version in the game right now. Personally, I would also be really be happy to get Sabertooth in the game someday.

I can get behind pretty much all of that, though I'd want the new juggernaut to kill two birds with one stone as the Unstoppable Colossus. Skrulls would be my number one choice for a new event, though if we're going that way Super Skrull, Hulkling, and that kid from Runaways would be on my list of new characters. Thanks for the link.

The rockett

Well my friend @Punisher5784, you should have some more material. 

Punisher5784

The rockett said:

Well my friend @Punisher5784, you should have some more material. 

Sadly.. you're right