coolbond wrote: Why does everyone forget the lokal swedish viking *crying manly tears*
TheUnwiseOne wrote: From across the room i spotted FoxyMulder rocking back and forth in the "bold" corner crying hysterically. I could only make out 2 words that she kept repeating over and over again, "Double Aids". I don't know what this means but it doesn't sound very pleasant.
FoxyMulder wrote: You couldn't hear me, but I was also crying "kermit . . . kermit . . ." Thanks for the PTSD, Ferret.
HailMary wrote: FoxyMulder wrote: You couldn't hear me, but I was also crying "kermit . . . kermit . . ." Thanks for the PTSD, Ferret. Land Before Time.
FoxyMulder wrote: Was that our safe word? I can't remember now.
WorldRunner wrote: So that's why you guys couldn't catch Poisons in PVP.
HailMary wrote: WorldRunner wrote: So that's why you guys couldn't catch Poisons in PVP. <looks at alliance Season rankings> Yep, we clearly need to catch up to the Poisons.
TheUnwiseOne wrote: I joined DjangoUnbuffed yesterday. I was a member for approximately 17 minutes. This is my story. I was approached by what i thought was a female commander as the name HailMary implied, but i was wrong. She was a he. That was my first ****! moment. He/She said they saw my post in the alliance sub-forum and decided i would be the right candidate to fill their empty slot. I was chuffed that they wanted me. The only rule they had was "communication is vital" scores don't matter as long as we have fun and talk. "Great" i thought. From what i read in their alliance chat which somehow took up 137 pages they seemed like a fun group. Weird, but fun. I never dreamt they would actually have a HQ's where they all lived together. But the rumours were true. I was blindfolded on the drive up there so as to not reveal it's location, and i was ushered into the main entrance where my blindfold was removed. This is where my 2nd ****! moment occured. The room was pink. Neon pink with sparkles. Glitterball lights hung from the ceiling. Paintings of unicorns and fairies hung on the walls. Ricky Martin's Greatest Hits blasted from hidden speakers. I looked to my left and saw 2 members of Django (Pats & Gozu) playing ping pong. But what worried me was there was they were naked. Not a stitch of clothing on them. And there was no ping pong ball or a racket. They were literally just running around a table, nude. That was my 3rd ****! moment. To my right, i saw an ex member, Allorin i think he was called. He was chained up and had a gag in his mouth. His thumbs looked broken and he had a tattoo across he face which read "JANGO" I can only assume they forgot the "D". He was also nude. From across the room i spotted FoxyMulder rocking back and forth in the "bold" corner crying hysterically. I could only make out 2 words that she kept repeating over and over again, "Double Aids". I don't know what this means but it doesn't sound very pleasant. Again she was nude. Next to her stood Noob, who proceeded to do the macarena dance. Apparently he was stuck in the 1990's. I was beginning to get scared. From the corner of my eye i glanced a figure bouncing up and down in a glass fronted room. This was the newest member of Django who they call "Dave" and he was twerking like Miley Cyrus on steroids. In fact he was dressed up like her in that wrecking ball video. He was crying as Dlaw licked the sledge hammer in front of him. Again he was naked. Giggling schoolgirls ran past me. But when i looked closer i realized they were not girls. Ferret and Grael were dressed in tiny school uniforms, and were hitting each other with wet towels. Their buttocks were on show. I nearly vomited. This was my 4th ****! moment. HailMary whispered in my ear and told me to go upstairs to see the boss. Now that i have time to recollect what happened, i think he licked my ear too. With caution i climbed the stairs and knocked on the door. I was called inside. Sweat poured out of every orifice in my body as i stepped into the office. I was shocked. Orphan children were chained to chairs while they played MPQ. Above them was a wallchart of progression scores. When a threshold was reached they were allowed some water and a toilet break, or some sugary bread. It was their choice. I was appalled. Sitting on his throne sat TheUnwiseOne. He wore orange socks and nothing else. Next to his throne sat somebody in a **** mask. "This is my pet. Beezer is his name. He does everything i ask of him". On his desk lay the DjangoUnbuffed Orientation Care Package. It looked as heavy as 10 Bibles. I gathered it up in my arms and flicked through the pages. It was written in crayon. Every page and every line contained the same 2 words over and over, NUDE TWERKING. This was my 5th ****! moment. I was told that i must sign a season long contract, and if i did, "we can do what we want to you, when we want to". I declined. I felt a sharp jab in my neck and awoke the next day, back home as if nothing had happened. I was naked. Let this be a lesson to all future DjangoUnbuffed members. Nudity is required. Always
klingsor wrote: I would like to point out that we at the 5Deadly's do not force our members into mandatory twerking, nude or otherwise.