Behind The Scenes of DjangoUnbuffed - The True Story

Unknown

I joined DjangoUnbuffed yesterday. I was a member for approximately 17 minutes. This is my story.

I was approached by what i thought was a female commander as the name HailMary implied, but i was wrong. She was a he. That was my first ****! moment. He/She said they saw my post in the alliance sub-forum and decided i would be the right candidate to fill their empty slot. I was chuffed that they wanted me. The only rule they had was "communication is vital" scores don't matter as long as we have fun and talk. "Great" i thought.

From what i read in their alliance chat which somehow took up 137 pages they seemed like a fun group. Weird, but fun. I never dreamt they would actually have a HQ's where they all lived together. But the rumours were true. I was blindfolded on the drive up there so as to not reveal it's location, and i was ushered into the main entrance where my blindfold was removed. This is where my 2nd ****! moment occured.

The room was pink. Neon pink with sparkles. Glitterball lights hung from the ceiling. Paintings of unicorns and fairies hung on the walls. Ricky Martin's Greatest Hits blasted from hidden speakers. I looked to my left and saw 2 members of Django (Pats & Gozu) playing ping pong. But what worried me was there was they were naked. Not a stitch of clothing on them. And there was no ping pong ball or a racket. They were literally just running around a table, nude. That was my 3rd ****! moment. To my right, i saw an ex member, Allorin i think he was called. He was chained up and had a gag in his mouth. His thumbs looked broken and he had a tattoo across he face which read "JANGO" I can only assume they forgot the "D". He was also nude.

From across the room i spotted FoxyMulder rocking back and forth in the "bold" corner crying hysterically. I could only make out 2 words that she kept repeating over and over again, "Double Aids". I don't know what this means but it doesn't sound very pleasant. Again she was nude. Next to her stood Noob, who proceeded to do the macarena dance. Apparently he was stuck in the 1990's. I was beginning to get scared. From the corner of my eye i glanced a figure bouncing up and down in a glass fronted room. This was the newest member of Django who they call "Dave" and he was twerking like Miley Cyrus on steroids. In fact he was dressed up like her in that wrecking ball video. He was crying as Dlaw licked the sledge hammer in front of him. Again he was naked.

Giggling schoolgirls ran past me. But when i looked closer i realized they were not girls. Ferret and Grael were dressed in tiny school uniforms, and were hitting each other with wet towels. Their buttocks were on show. I nearly vomited. This was my 4th ****! moment. HailMary whispered in my ear and told me to go upstairs to see the boss. Now that i have time to recollect what happened, i think he licked my ear too. With caution i climbed the stairs and knocked on the door. I was called inside.

Sweat poured out of every orifice in my body as i stepped into the office. I was shocked. Orphan children were chained to chairs while they played MPQ. Above them was a wallchart of progression scores. When a threshold was reached they were allowed some water and a toilet break, or some sugary bread. It was their choice. I was appalled. Sitting on his throne sat TheUnwiseOne. He wore orange socks and nothing else. Next to his throne sat somebody in a **** mask. "This is my pet. Beezer is his name. He does everything i ask of him".

On his desk lay the DjangoUnbuffed Orientation Care Package. It looked as heavy as 10 Bibles. I gathered it up in my arms and flicked through the pages. It was written in crayon. Every page and every line contained the same 2 words over and over, NUDE TWERKING. This was my 5th ****! moment. I was told that i must sign a season long contract, and if i did, "we can do what we want to you, when we want to". I declined.

I felt a sharp jab in my neck and awoke the next day, back home as if nothing had happened. I was naked.

Let this be a lesson to all future DjangoUnbuffed members. Nudity is required. Always

Unknown

Why does everyone forget the lokal swedish viking *crying manly tears*

Unknown

The notion that TU1 could be the leader of anything had me laughing so hard that I was crying. Seriously, this was hilarious. I was howling at every **** moment and at all the wild nudity and twerking in between. Long live TheUnwiseOnes General Discussion threads,

Unknown

a) while it's fun for me to read gossips, it's never advisable to wash your dirty linens in public while nude.
b) you should have know you need to perform when you applied to DjangoUnbuffed. They have like 200 pages of **** on display for everybody, next time do your research. not surprised when they kick you for failing to make the mark.
c) why apply to DjangoUnbuffed when you cannot/notwillingto be nude? it just felt greedy and put Django in a spot now that you announced this publicly.

it felt like you should join one of the umpteen other Alliances who mostly play with clothes on (read: all other alliances except when they're playing on the toilet). less(no) pressure to perform when your tiny weenis isn't on display.

Unknown

coolbond wrote:

Why does everyone forget the lokal swedish viking *crying manly tears*

You shall be in my next story. I promise xoxoxo

Unknown

Lol lol lol.

Tiny weenis. Lol lol lol.

Unknown

TheUnwiseOne wrote:

From across the room i spotted FoxyMulder rocking back and forth in the "bold" corner crying hysterically. I could only make out 2 words that she kept repeating over and over again, "Double Aids". I don't know what this means but it doesn't sound very pleasant.

You couldn't hear me, but I was also crying "kermit . . . kermit . . ."

Thanks for the PTSD, Ferret.

Unknown

Pictures or it didn't happen!

Spider-man 6234

I'm still waiting for my first appearance in an unwise one production. My alliance I formed was mentioned in v2 of alliance name drop so that's a step in the right direction. Lol but seriously I love coming to the forums to find these random posts TU1. Keep it up man keep it up....

HailMary

FoxyMulder wrote:

You couldn't hear me, but I was also crying "kermit . . . kermit . . ."

Thanks for the PTSD, Ferret.

Land Before Time.

Unknown

HailMary wrote:

FoxyMulder wrote:

You couldn't hear me, but I was also crying "kermit . . . kermit . . ."

Thanks for the PTSD, Ferret.

Land Before Time.

Was that our safe word? I can't remember now.

HailMary

FoxyMulder wrote:

Was that our safe word? I can't remember now.

WELL OBVS NOT ANYMORE!

KERMITKERMITKERMITKERMITKERMIT.

Unknown

What he doesn't tell you is that when coolbond was away for the weekend with the Swedish Bikini Team and was without a 4G connection he was forcibly demoted to our sister alliance "IFeelPretty" and was forced to wear clothes. And he missed the Nick Fury cover.

Oh wait, that hasn't happened yet.

Unknown

So that's why you guys couldn't catch Poisons in PVP.

Unknown

"I came in like a wrecking ball!!!"

Tehe

-dave

Puritas

OP banz0red for name & shaming and posting in wrong forum

HailMary

WorldRunner wrote:

So that's why you guys couldn't catch Poisons in PVP.

<looks at alliance Season rankings>

Yep, we clearly need to catch up to the Poisons.

Unknown

HailMary wrote:

WorldRunner wrote:

So that's why you guys couldn't catch Poisons in PVP.

<looks at alliance Season rankings>

Yep, we clearly need to catch up to the Poisons.

Quit living in the present.

Unknown

TheUnwiseOne wrote:

I joined DjangoUnbuffed yesterday. I was a member for approximately 17 minutes. This is my story.

I was approached by what i thought was a female commander as the name HailMary implied, but i was wrong. She was a he. That was my first ****! moment. He/She said they saw my post in the alliance sub-forum and decided i would be the right candidate to fill their empty slot. I was chuffed that they wanted me. The only rule they had was "communication is vital" scores don't matter as long as we have fun and talk. "Great" i thought.

From what i read in their alliance chat which somehow took up 137 pages they seemed like a fun group. Weird, but fun. I never dreamt they would actually have a HQ's where they all lived together. But the rumours were true. I was blindfolded on the drive up there so as to not reveal it's location, and i was ushered into the main entrance where my blindfold was removed. This is where my 2nd ****! moment occured.

The room was pink. Neon pink with sparkles. Glitterball lights hung from the ceiling. Paintings of unicorns and fairies hung on the walls. Ricky Martin's Greatest Hits blasted from hidden speakers. I looked to my left and saw 2 members of Django (Pats & Gozu) playing ping pong. But what worried me was there was they were naked. Not a stitch of clothing on them. And there was no ping pong ball or a racket. They were literally just running around a table, nude. That was my 3rd ****! moment. To my right, i saw an ex member, Allorin i think he was called. He was chained up and had a gag in his mouth. His thumbs looked broken and he had a tattoo across he face which read "JANGO" I can only assume they forgot the "D". He was also nude.

From across the room i spotted FoxyMulder rocking back and forth in the "bold" corner crying hysterically. I could only make out 2 words that she kept repeating over and over again, "Double Aids". I don't know what this means but it doesn't sound very pleasant. Again she was nude. Next to her stood Noob, who proceeded to do the macarena dance. Apparently he was stuck in the 1990's. I was beginning to get scared. From the corner of my eye i glanced a figure bouncing up and down in a glass fronted room. This was the newest member of Django who they call "Dave" and he was twerking like Miley Cyrus on steroids. In fact he was dressed up like her in that wrecking ball video. He was crying as Dlaw licked the sledge hammer in front of him. Again he was naked.

Giggling schoolgirls ran past me. But when i looked closer i realized they were not girls. Ferret and Grael were dressed in tiny school uniforms, and were hitting each other with wet towels. Their buttocks were on show. I nearly vomited. This was my 4th ****! moment. HailMary whispered in my ear and told me to go upstairs to see the boss. Now that i have time to recollect what happened, i think he licked my ear too. With caution i climbed the stairs and knocked on the door. I was called inside.

Sweat poured out of every orifice in my body as i stepped into the office. I was shocked. Orphan children were chained to chairs while they played MPQ. Above them was a wallchart of progression scores. When a threshold was reached they were allowed some water and a toilet break, or some sugary bread. It was their choice. I was appalled. Sitting on his throne sat TheUnwiseOne. He wore orange socks and nothing else. Next to his throne sat somebody in a **** mask. "This is my pet. Beezer is his name. He does everything i ask of him".

On his desk lay the DjangoUnbuffed Orientation Care Package. It looked as heavy as 10 Bibles. I gathered it up in my arms and flicked through the pages. It was written in crayon. Every page and every line contained the same 2 words over and over, NUDE TWERKING. This was my 5th ****! moment. I was told that i must sign a season long contract, and if i did, "we can do what we want to you, when we want to". I declined.

I felt a sharp jab in my neck and awoke the next day, back home as if nothing had happened. I was naked.

Let this be a lesson to all future DjangoUnbuffed members. Nudity is required. Always

I would like to point out that we at the 5Deadly's do not force our members into mandatory twerking, nude or otherwise.

Unknown

klingsor wrote:

I would like to point out that we at the 5Deadly's do not force our members into mandatory twerking, nude or otherwise.

But is it discouraged?

Unknown

klingsor wrote:

I would like to point out that we at the 5Deadly's do not force our members into mandatory twerking, nude or otherwise.

Sure, you SAY that it's volunteer-based, it isn't ""mandatory,"" but when it comes to the 5D annual performance reviews, we notice a certain... correlation...