Don't buy the hype! Buy Stark!

purplemur

rhet·o·ric: language designed to have a persuasive or impressive effect on its audience, but often regarded as lacking in sincerity or meaningful content.
hy·per·bo·le: exaggerated statements or claims not meant to be taken literally

Truth is....in 7 installments 
1)soft capping is a tall-tale, like Fox owning character rights to X-men.
Nobody has spare iso;

 Read a hoard thread and it always finishes with "I hope I can get the iso to champ #### in the next week, and then maybe be able to save $$$$ before it dies." The idea is fabricated indignatude by good players that have the dilemma of champing a 5*!! Get the tinykitty outta here with your: whaaaa other players don't game as honorably as me shade. "they don't cheat but they, they:SOFTCAP!" 

2)Sniping down in brackets : not whats happening. nobody needs farm fertilizer bad enough to stomp newbs(they aren't in SCL6-7 anyway). SCL 8 has too low a bar, I don't belong. If I am SCL'd with players who have champed even one 4*, let alone enough to strategically play their boosted 4*s for the week, then I cannot place.  Lvl 400 goon nodes = now I cannot progress. So I will have to go south just to have the time in my day to finish 5 clears. Back to grinding for one 4* a week!  Even the dozen+ pages discussing the test run that are full of talk about going to 7 is just Bourgeoisie slumming;

No 2-->3* rosters were harmed by some "killer whale". 

3)Developers make bugs, Publishers make money. Publishers create the problems with release schedules and profit metrics. The developers probably have a harder grind than a 1400 score in PvP. The Devs still made and pushed out lazy variants to meet demand but Sega is calling the business decisions through Boston. Can you imagine being forced to attend an early/late x-country videoconference with middle managers from an office within an outside affiliate office that has no reason to be in your affairs telling you what to do? 

or trying to hype Riri for the forum trolls without market partnerships or platform promotionals? 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=drl5gD3AzT4

*nope*

*nope*
ever heard of a tank? sheesh

who knows how some of the decisions are made within the labyrinthine contracts between them all and handling the hissing contests between project managers. I think this is why some of the 2017 changes have been so obscure and apparently illogical. Is it petulant devs being passive aggressive or scheming greedy pubs? nah, its just people trying to meet deadlines and feed they kids. 

4)it's not vaultings fault. threads get ruined by vault whine like FB was in Nov. with Clinton memes. 

and to be fair and balanced:

5)plant a victory garden today! Farms are worth it. Its about opportunity costs,currency exchange, psychological reward, observable progress. things that:

GZA "Reunited" (Wu-Tang Forever):
You couldn't add it up, if you mastered addition

6)they listen. Things are being read, moderated anyway; but to what end? How does carnage get an immediate re-rework and meanwhile:

@brigby do you ever feel like: 

when you pitch forum ideas? like the ubiquitous another token store for just vaulted, and they make you bring back off season and HFH? (see how vaulting ruins everything)

7) it really is about the whales. Whales make up < 0.5% of the total player base and account for 50% of income. the other half? is actually the other half: 50% of players make 1 purchase a month accounting for the other 50% of income. Whales make 5 or more purchases a month and those are 50$ or more at a time. So you buy your VIP(10$) but theres whole groups (typically middle-class men in their 30's) out there who are dropping 250$ or more. They view this IAP as an investment and spend an anomalous amount of time playing the game. Why wouldn't you prioritize this demographic and pitch QoL changes based on their user metrics? 

truth is: It's a great game! it's getting better all the time!

there are no bad toons-just bad pairings!

So until Bob the Builder joins the Wrecking Crew; make mine MPQ!

edited for sloppy spoiler use

*Removed inappropriate/attacking memes - Ducky

tiomono

I'm not sure what to say. 

But I think I like the way you weave your craziness into a fun read.

Skrofa

I read the whole thing. I read it twice! 

I still don't know what the point is! But... Here's a "like" anyway

Bruinsfan17

**** is this? Didn't read it all. Anyone care to summarize?

Borstock

Bruinsfan17 said:

tinykitty is this? Didn't read it all. Anyone care to summarize?

Lunacy is contagious. There, saved you 10 minutes.

FaerieMyst

I totally agree. 

jackstar0

I assume this is an article from the HP Suck Magazine.

And I approve.

Marine8394

Hey!hey!hey! Crazy non-sensical rants are my shtick! Get on your side of the street! By the way....I loved it! Now where did I put my cut-worm for sewing tree bark shampoo parking ticket cabbage.

scottee

I thought it was a kitchen sink bot.

Wumpushunter

I want my 5 minutes back this rant was not insightful, I did not like it, where is my button to mark this Crazy.

DeNappa

Err... wut?

snlf25

Who would flag such an insightful post!? I swear journalism has been taking a beating since Trump got elected!

Tiger_Wong

I just wanna know how you were able to get pictures in the post. 

Bloody_Marvel

50 posts in and you come up with this piece of gold? Kudos

Neuromancer

purplemur said:

7) ... Whales make 5 or more purchases a month and those are 50$ or more at a time. So you buy your VIP(10$) but theres whole groups (typically middle-class men in their 30's) out there who are dropping 250$ or more...

Woo! I spent $20 once about three years ago. I felt the game deserved it for the egregious amount of time I'd thrown at it. I feel ahead of the game as a middle-class man in my 30's. Definitely feel I've gotten my $20 worth, though I've an inherent dislike for any subscriptions.

I just wish the game aspired to be more. If it did, I'd throw more at it.

But the real trick is to land a Saudi prince. I'm sure MPQ has a couple. They just had their Comic Con.

Great read, purplemur. Thanks

blargrx

A+ for the ranting effort