Chaos League presents: The Chaotic Limerick contest!

mischiefmaker

Here at the Chaos League alliance, we believe in fostering, growing, and giving back to the Marvel Puzzle Quest community. And we realized that with alliance rewards, for the first time in the history of the game, we can actually give meaningful rewards to people! With that in mind, Chaos League proudly presents our first-ever contest: The Chaotic Limerick contest!

Contest and rules
The contest is simple. You write a limerick that is MPQ-themed, and post it in this thread by Sunday, March 30th, at noon PDT. You may write as many limericks as you like, but if you submit multiple ones, you must mark one of them as the one you want judged; otherwise we'll judge only the first one. Please post only once in this thread; edit the post later if you want to change your submission.

IMPORTANT: A limerick has a proper form! Your limerick must scan in order to qualify -- that is, it is insufficient just to rhyme, you must also follow the correct meter (3 feet of 3 syllables each). See the wiki entry for full details on proper limerick construction: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limerick_(poetry). We'll post all qualified and disqualified entries in this post.

Prizes
What would a contest be without prizes? We have two:

Early bird prize: The first person to submit a limerick that scans will be admitted to our alliance for the remainder of the current subevent and the Thor event, and will get to win whatever prizes we qualify for (currently #33 in simulator easy, #34 in simulator hard, and #24 in Lord of Thunder). Edit: won by Eddiemon!

Grand prize: The best limerick will be admitted to our alliance for the end of the Unholy Outlaw event and allowed to stay through the end of the Simulator event, and will get to win whatever prizes we qualify for (currently #38 in simulator, and we've never failed to at least win a cover in a PvP tournament).

After each event is over, we'll ask the winner to leave the alliance so that we can keep a slot open for future contests.

We know that many of you are already in an alliance, so prizes are fully transferrable -- if you win a prize, you may designate someone else, and we'll accept them in your stead.

Have fun!

Qualified:
Eddiemon (purple v. pink) - wins the early bird prize!
Nonce Equitaur 2
locked
Dirigible Pilot

Not qualified - did not scan
Everyone else

Eddiemon

An angry internet troll's railing
'cos battles he's constantly failing
I blame spiderman
nerf him if you can
I'm over tinykitty scaling

Edit: Tinykitty is too hard to scan. Tinnykitty it.

Eddiemon

I don't want to raise a big stink
Cause D3 are trying, I think
But once in a while
I look at a tile
its not bloody purple, its pink.

Nonce Equitaur 2

While matching up colorful stones
Hulk's Anger ellicits some groans.
But I hate to engage
Daken's Pheromone Rage,
And Bull's Adamantium Bones.

Though blind, our Daredevil's cunning
Equalizer and Ambush outgunning
Anyone with crotched kick
Just the slightest wrong click
Will be deadly or equal or stunning.

Unknown

There first was a two star named Thor
Who made most of the mid-team's core
The devs made him sub-par
Then added a Star
And now it's worse than before.

Unknown

The forums won't let us cuss,
but people still love to fuss,
to escape all the bitchin's
I joined (insert alliance name here since I can't type it out)
now all your sinks are below to us


No need to judge, just participating!

Eddiemon

Jorgon wrote:

The forums won't let us cuss,
but people still love to fuss,
to escape all the bitchin's
I joined fitted Intergalactic Space Fleet
now all your sinks are below to us


No need to judge, just participating!

I love your work.

Eddiemon

Creating a sig can be fun
Alliance mates in every one
to my greatest shame
Theres nobody's name
In their place what have I done?

mischiefmaker

Eddimon has graciously passed on his early bird prize, so if there's anyone out there who wants a free 100 hp, yellow Patch, and 4000 ISO, there's still time to submit a limerick that scans!

Unknown

There once was a dude named T'Challa
Whose body made all the chicks holler
Though his mask ain't that pretty
He's no tinykitty...
Poor flat Mags--T'Challa's a baller!

Edit: By the way, if I don't win, can we have an Honorable Mention award for "Best Incorporation Of Tinykitty Into Your Limerick"? Also, mine works best if you imagine Tim Curry as Dr. Frankenfurter reading it.

Unknown

There once was a guy named Klingsor
Who threatened to show you the door
If your points weren't high
You were left out to dry
But now his antics have become such a bore.


Edit: no feelings were hurt in the making of this Limerick.

Unknown

The Devs have angered the moose
They let the lazy characters loose
No more money will be spent
Providing cash for rent
Fix it and we'll call a truce


I'm not much of a poet, does this qualify?

Mark this one for judgment

Unknown

Jessica Alba did make her gorgeous
But what MPQ did to her was atrocious
Yes the acting was bad
Even buffed she's still sad
Why do they treat the Invisible Woman so vicious

Unknown

I really enjoy this Forum
Mostly when I suffer from boredom
Limericks are pretty fun
This one is almost done
Holy **** this topic was random

Unknown

This game often consumes me
My time, sanity, and money
Im serious of course
Could my life be worse?
This was not meant to be funny

Unknown

People often watch their TV
While waiting for characters to get healthy
Why does it take so long
Refresh in the prologue?
People should just turn it all off in agony

Unknown

A dev saw a hero growing old
And remade him with three stars of gold
Some men call it lazy
But I think they're crazy
How else would fitted kitch-ens be sold?

(hyphenated to evade the Tinykitty Intergalactic Space Fleet, remove for judging purposes)

Unknown

a wee tale, 'tis short but 'tis true
the play'rs include me, poss'bly you
we all love this game
(and you all know it's name)
but the Howlers, we just say, "WAH-HOO!"

...ahh... doggerel....

over_clocked

Our rosters, we cherish and polish
Opponents, we try to demolish
We match three for hours
To make covers ours
Our lives, MPQ will abolish

Sarcasm! I will overcome my addiction yet, for another addiction of course.

Unknown

Could have been hard, but one champ made it cushy
Spidey stuns n' heals, does that make me a wussy?
Listen to facts
Man up use healthpacks
And quit being such a tiny kitty!

DirigiblePilot

There once was a fellow called Peter
Who, some people'd say, was a cheater
For he never would stop
Once he'd used "All Tied Up"
But I think there's nobody neater!

There once was a Doctor of Doom
Whose strength you should never assume
Some demons he'd summon
And once they were comin'
You'd have been defeated- KABOOM!

The Norse god of thunder is Thor
Of his fairness, D3 was unsure
So they changed up his skills
So that, of his kills
Everyone would be conf'dent no more!

Invisible Woman was bad
As a four-star, it's frankly quite sad
D3 made her better
So we'd try to get 'er
But- lo and behold- we'd been had!

Devil Dino will show up sometimes
Skin of red, and eyes all aflime
He'll use green (and not red!)
To bite off your head
Now I just have to make sure this rhymes!

Thus follows the tale of poor Daken
(A youth who was often caught slackin')
He attacked dear old dad
An idea which was bad
He went down in a hail of "chik-chak"in'

The Punisher has Retribution
For high health, it's a perfect solution
When they get taken down
By this man with a frown-
Well, it's just such a cool execution!

This next one is also my submission for the Holy Church of Patch's writing competition (because clearly such a thing exists):
Adamantium claws are possessed
By who's truly the best of the best
Using red green and yellow <

---

Judge this one, please.
To take down any fellow
And all while impeccably dressed!

His wares, you can be sure he's pitchin'
Do we hate him? Well, only a smidgen
Annoying the rest
With his undying quest
To sell you a great fitted kitch.en!

I just couldn't restrain myself
Such a great thread!