So Captain America walks into the bar...

h4n1s

So Captain America walks into the bar and the bartender says: "Hey, we named a drink after you!"
Cap responds: "Really? You named a drink 'Steve'?"

More of those here http://geekologie.com/2012/05/imma-get-superhero-drunk-avengers-themed.php

Unknown

Beast walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, we don't serve your kind here".
Beast, offended, asks "Why, because I have blue hair, fangs and claws? You won't serve be just because I look different?!?"
The bartender replies "No, I won't serve you because...

you suck".

h4n1s

The Hulk walks into the bar... wait... there was a bar here a minute ago!

Unknown

Thor walks into a bar. This fight with the Wrecker really isn't going well for him.

Unknown

OP is great because Creme de Cacao is French, Curacao is an island country in the Carribbean, grenadine is originally French and the shot class and flag were probably made in China.

Arondite

Fievel wrote:

OP is great because Creme de Cacao is French, Curacao is an island country in the Carribbean, grenadine is originally French and the shot class and flag were probably made in China.

What's more american than that?

DaveR4470

Bagman walks into a bar.

And knocks himself out cold, because he's got a freaking bag on his head and didn't see it right in front of his face.

The moral of the story: Bagman sucks.

racanrpa

h4n1s wrote:

So Captain America walks into the bar and the bartender says: "Hey, we named a drink after you!"
Cap responds: "Really? You named a drink 'Steve'?"

More of those here http://geekologie.com/2012/05/imma-get-superhero-drunk-avengers-themed.php

That drink is called "Francesita" (It translate: Frenchy) where I live.

Unknown

Ironman walks into a bar...

...and walks back out again, calls his sponsor and attends an extra meeting this week because alcoholism is no joking matter. ;)

Or:

Black Widow walks into a bar...

...and all the men leave quietly, not making eye contact just in case. Natasha goes home and signs up for OKCupid with the username NotReallyABlackWidow in the hopes of doing better at finding a good time.

...sorry.

evil panda

since this thread now appears to be about superhero jokes:


Q: Why is there nothing to do at X-Force headquarters anymore?
A: Because they no longer have Cable!

h4n1s

So Invisible Woman walks into the bar and no one noticed her.

Unknown

Yelena, Beast, and Bagman walk into a bar.
The bartender turns to them, takes one look, and says, "What is this - some kind of joke?"

h4n1s

And here's the best of all of them:

So Jamie Madrox walks into the bar...

ronin_san

Bojack Horseman walked into a bar. His obnoxious character flaws and penchant for dwelling on the past, oblivious to others, deserves a second season.

Unknown

DareDevil wanders into a "MPQ superheroines only" bar by mistake.

He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.

After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, “Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?”

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.

In a very deep, husky voice, She-Hulk says to him, “Before you tell that joke, Matt, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:

1. Carol Danver aka Captain Marvel is a blonde girl with a superhuman strength.
2. Moonstone is a blonde girl too and she could create laser bursts from her hands
3. The woman sitting next to me is Invisible Woman and yup, she's blonde too.
4. Thor, believe it or not, is a blonde girl too now.
5. Yelena is a blonde girl. Well she's suck and may be you can take care of her alone in few seconds, but not all five of these blonde girls altogether.

Now, think about it seriously, Matt. Do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?”

DareDevil thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters,
“No … not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.”

Unknown

Howard the Duck walks into the bar and asks the bartender "You got any grapes?"

The bartender said "No." And Howard the Duck left.

The next night Howard the Duck walked into the bar and asked the bartender "You got any grapes?"

The bartender again said "No." And Howard the Duck left.

The next night Howard the Duck walked into the bar and the bartender warned him "If you ask for grapes, I'm going to staple your beak shut!"

Howard the Duck asked "You got any staples?"

The bartender shook his head and said "Well, no."

Howard the Duck responded "In that case....Got any grapes?"

evil panda

I have a Daredevil one too -

So daredevil walks into this new restaurant in Hells Kitchen. The owner asks him what he would like.

Daredevil says, well, I'm blind, but if you bring me out a few dirty forks, I can order that way.

The skeptical owner gives him a fork. Daredevil takes a good long sniff and says "aah. Meatloaf, mashed potatoes and gravy. I'll have that please". The dumbfounded owner scurries off to get his meal.

And so it goes for a week - Daredevil comes in, asks for a dirty fork, and orders. The owner gets angry, thinking this tinykitty guy is messing with him somehow. So the next time Daredevil comes in and asks for his usual, he thinks ok, it's my turn to mess with you!

So he goes to the back where his wife Michelle is preparing the food, grabs a clean fork and tells her "here, stick this fork in your panties and give it a good rub". He takes this fork to the front and presents it to Daredevil.

Daredevil takes the fork, gives it a deep, thoughtful sniff and says.....

"Hey, I didn't know Michelle worked here!!!

h4n1s

So Cyclops and Daredevil are going to visit a Professor X in his forest hideout. Cyclops is leading the way as he's the only one to see. Suddenly a branch from a tree breaks Cyclopses visor, blinding him. So the Cyclops says: "So our journey's over...." and Daredevil immediately follows with: "Hello Professor, how are you?"

Zen808

A Russian, a Cuban, X-Force, and Jamie Madrox are on a cargo plane.

Suddenly, the Captain comes over the speakers and tells them that he's low on fuel, and they each need to dump some stuff if they want to reach their destination.

The Russian opens his crate, pulls out a bottle of vodka, takes a swig, and pushes the crate out the rear hatch. Jamie asks him "Why waste such good liquor?" The Russian replies: "Comrade, there's plenty of that where I come from."

Next, the Cuban opens his crate, pulls out a box of cigars, lights one up, then pushes the crate out the rear hatch. Jamie asks him "Why waste such fine cigars?" The Cuban replies: "My friend, there's plenty of that where I come from."

Jamie thinks about it for a second, then kicks X-Force out the rear hatch.

Unknown

Oh is this a jokes thread? Ooh ooh! I've got one!

Q: What has 142 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk?

A: My zipper

evil panda

Q: Why does Gorgon have pictures of Moonstone as his screensaver?

A: because they "Awaken The Hand"