Behind The Scenes: The "Sotkra" Story

edited November 2014 in Off Topic
DISCLAIMER - This thread is meant for amusement and not to upset anyone, except "Sotkra" icon_lol.gif Just kidding, he should in fact, be thrilled i devoted a whole thread dedicated to him and i hope he finds some humour in it. Teeheeeeeeheeee

BASED ON A TRUE STORY - NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED TO PROTECT THE INNOCENT, ALSO CAUSE IT'S FUNNIER

ANY RESEMBLANCE TO REAL PEOPLE OR IGNs IS ENTIRELY COINCIDENTAL AND INTENDED.

It was a cold and dark thundery night when baby "Sotkra" was born (real name: Fredrick) and when i say born, i of course mean, was hatched, from a loving couple we shall call Mr. Derp and Ms. Eejit. He was a normal baby, although a little chubby in the head. He loved nothing more than to swallow his Lego bricks and lick the wet paint from the walls.Okay,maybe not so normal after-all. Doctor's believed this is where the trouble started. When he was 7 years of age, he uttered his first word, ISOATE (whatever that meant)

He was a very active baby and was always getting into mischief. He loved nothing more than dressing up in his mothers clothes and throwing make believe tea parties. Although when i say baby, this all started when he was 18 years old.

In school he was an outcast but gained infamy by the fact he was the first person to wear Madonna's conical bra style after her concert. "Sotkra" adored Madonna, so much in fact that he had the word "virgin" tattooed on his left butt cheek.

After he finished school and went to college, he came a marketing manager of something or other, where he was paid handsomely for doing as little work as possible. Most days, he was found in the bathroom stall muttering "Yelena" His co-workers thought maybe this was the blowup doll he was said to have got for xmas of his mother.

After 3 years of been manager, he had saved enough money to buy a nice little house, but instead he discovered a mobile game. A game he was to spend his life's earnings on. A game that was to become his vice, for no woman, nor human or amphibian wanted him. He found companionship in Marvel Puzzle Quest.

He played from the moment he awoke, until the moment he slept. Sometimes he even played it in his dreams. Whereas most players built up their rosters through sheer determination and playing smart, "Sotkra" had another idea. HE WOULD BUY EVERYTHING. But for all the money he threw at the game, he was still tinykitty at it, taking nearly a year before he could play it properly. Legend has it that he is the only known player to have maxed out Bagman with cash. Other things that he has wasted money on are:

* A 'Unicorn" which was really just a horse with some aluminium foil glued to his head

* Special edition of the box-set of My Little Ponies Complete package "signed" by the ponies themselves.

* FleshLight

* A "trained" goldfish that could do an amazing trick of "floating" on its side all the time, sold to him by a gypsy.

* An imaginary friend, who ran away.

* He also paid $1.99 for MPQ, despite it been free to download.


Now "Sotkra" was a quiet young man in real life, but when it came to the forums, he was a loud and unbearable french person. Pretty much your typical french guy really. He astounded people with his tales of spending thousands on the game,including buying iso, which made some people chuckle. Rumors have it, that there are some people still laughing at this. He has currently filed a lawsuit against the company to try and get some of his money back. When the publisher heard of this, their laughs could be heard throughout Boston.

When alliances came to fruition, he joined the Y-men, where there was a big fallout. But it wasn't his fault. It was everybody else's. He also joined AceofSporks, where there was another fallout. But it wasn't his fault but everybody else's. He joined ArmyofSpurta whom he left, which was also not his fault, BUT EVERYBODY ELSE'S.

He began to get stressed in his life, so much, that he almost lost his job. But like a trooper, "Sotkra" carried on playing the game that had taken over his life, shunning all human contact in favor of his Devil Dino Jazz Hands. He began to withdraw and became almost caveman like. If someone asked him a question, he would just grunt and punch himself in the head.

But on the forums, thread after thread after rehashed thread detailing how much money it costs to have a complete roster sprang up, sometimes daily. Nobody cared, as nobody else spent that much money on the game. But then something wondrous happened, "Sotkra" became happy with the game.

But then he was not.

He became weirder. One day he loved the game, the next he hated it. Sometimes he loved to hate the game to loved to hate. Nobody could understand why he continued to invest his money in the game if it annoyed him so much. Even Phantron failed to find a reason.

For now, "Sotkra" is caught in limbo, a state of purgatory really, where his only company is the shriek of music played from the worlds smallest violin, held by Okin. As Rio, plays the triangle, and Jozier the spoons.

As of today, A̶r̶k̶t̶o̶s̶ "Sotkra" spends his time in ImmobileRage where we may be lucky to witness another Behind The Scenes Special after the season ends. Which wont be his fault.

BUT EVERYBODY ELSE'S.
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Comments

  • Very nice, hopefully this isn't the last episode of the "Sotkra" story. We all need to keep updated on this mysterious person.
  • IamTheDangerIamTheDanger Age Unconfirmed Posts: 1,093 Chairperson of the Boards
    I take it I'm supposed to spell the name backward?

    Didnt catch it til the end. icon_e_wink.gif
  • I take it I'm supposed to spell the name backward?

    COINCIDENTAL if it spells out someone's name backwards.
  • edited November 2014
    Wow, someone has a man crush on someone. I'd say gold digger, but it's obvious the post is deeply heartfelt.

    Also, this is the best use of this day of relaxation.
  • Christ man get a life
  • Christ man get a life
    I see your response, and i shall respond with this viewtopic.php?f=7&t=18729&p=246994&hilit=gave+me+autism#p246994
  • mohiomohio Age Unconfirmed Posts: 1,690 Chairperson of the Boards
    cmon now, no one could actually believe that there is a french guy named sotkra. Maybe eastern european or something. You could have at least made your story more believable. I really wanted to see behind the scenes!
  • NellobeeNellobee Age Unconfirmed Posts: 457 Mover and Shaker
    Looks like a good target for moderation. *cough*
  • lukewinlukewin Age Unconfirmed Posts: 1,356 Chairperson of the Boards
    At first, I read the title, saw the length of the post, passed. Gave it a little more critical look, decided to read. Thanks OP, I lol'd.
  • Christ man get a life
    I see your response, and i shall respond with this viewtopic.php?f=7&t=18729&p=246994&hilit=gave+me+autism#p246994

    Yes, well, my thread was a complete and utter waste of space. However, I spent a total of about 30 seconds on it. I don't know how fast you type, so I'd rather not make assumptions. icon_e_biggrin.gif
  • lukewinlukewin Age Unconfirmed Posts: 1,356 Chairperson of the Boards
    Christ man get a life
    I see your response, and i shall respond with this viewtopic.php?f=7&t=18729&p=246994&hilit=gave+me+autism#p246994

    Yes, well, my thread was a complete and utter waste of space. However, I spent a total of about 30 seconds on it. I don't know how fast you type, so I'd rather not make assumptions. icon_e_biggrin.gif

    I, for one, am glad the OP sacrificed their time to bring some amusement to me, and by the upvotes, a few others, especially on a day like today, where there is not much MPQ to be played. Thanks again OP.
  • atomzedatomzed Posts: 1,468 Chairperson of the Boards
    Well, I enjoy the humour of the story, but I don't think it's nice to make fun of someone personal life....(unless you already has his consent?)
  • A testament to the influence he has on us all. To Sotkra! Never change*.

    *An exception can be made for underwear
  • JamieMadroxJamieMadrox Posts: 1,798 Chairperson of the Boards
    atomzed wrote:
    Well, I enjoy the humour of the story, but I don't think it's nice to make fun of someone personal life....(unless you already has his consent?)
    Consent was implied the minute they posted their personal life on the forums. Nothing is sacred here.
  • atomzed wrote:
    Well, I enjoy the humour of the story, but I don't think it's nice to make fun of someone personal life....(unless you already has his consent?)
    Consent was implied the minute they posted their personal life on the forums. Nothing is sacred here.

    Nothing is scared here? Then please stop paying tribute to Lord (Queen?) Hailmary. Just because they are The Truth, that does not make them a deity. At least till they pay the full $9.99 to get their internet certificate of deity authentication.
  • DuckyDucky GLOBAL_MODERATORS Posts: 2,255 Community Moderator
    atomzed wrote:
    Well, I enjoy the humour of the story, but I don't think it's nice to make fun of someone personal life....(unless you already has his consent?)
    Consent was implied the minute they posted their personal life on the forums. Nothing is sacred on the internet.


    Fixed.
  • DayvDayv Posts: 4,449 Chairperson of the Boards
    Totally aware I'm being a stick in the mud here:

    Could a mod please move this to the off-topic forums?
  • atomzedatomzed Posts: 1,468 Chairperson of the Boards
    atomzed wrote:
    Well, I enjoy the humour of the story, but I don't think it's nice to make fun of someone personal life....(unless you already has his consent?)
    Consent was implied the minute they posted their personal life on the forums. Nothing is sacred here.

    Oh, did arktos shared about all aspects of his personal life, including erm, his child hood?

    I know about his expenditure and his threats of lawsuit... but I didn't read anything about his childhood. While it's tongue in cheek, I didn't think it's nice to poke fun of people personal life which they didn't share.
  • atomzed wrote:
    atomzed wrote:
    Well, I enjoy the humour of the story, but I don't think it's nice to make fun of someone personal life....(unless you already has his consent?)
    Consent was implied the minute they posted their personal life on the forums. Nothing is sacred here.

    Oh, did arktos shared about all aspects of his personal life, including erm, his child hood?

    I know about his expenditure and his threats of lawsuit... but I didn't read anything about his childhood. While it's tongue in cheek, I didn't think it's nice to poke fun of people personal life which they didn't share.


    It's satire, I doubt anyone thinks the childhood stuff is factual, ok, it is mean spirited, but pretty damn funny, which is ok, it's the internet after all.

    The personal life stuff is mainly made up and/or embellished, the stuff relating to in game behaviour/forum activity is pretty damn spot on, as far as whether this is taking it too far, it's subjective, I don't have a strong opinion either way.
  • JamieMadroxJamieMadrox Posts: 1,798 Chairperson of the Boards
    DuckyV wrote:
    atomzed wrote:
    Well, I enjoy the humour of the story, but I don't think it's nice to make fun of someone personal life....(unless you already has his consent?)
    Consent was implied the minute they posted their personal life on the forums. Nothing is sacred on the internet.


    Fixed.
    I'm so awesome I have members of other alliances fixing my posts for me. I'VE MADE IT MA!
This discussion has been closed.