Juggernaut vs. The Spammers from the X (men) Files

From the files of -REDACTED-

He was a large man, but not a bad man. Misunderstood more than evil. Impetuous more than cruel. He wore a large red suit of metal and an old dome shaped helmet, like an ancient spaceman from the 50s, one step in the future and one giant .leap into.the past. He had come to me for counsel, both as a doctor and as a friend. Well, as friendly as a villain and a doctor of the peculiar kind can be. He came to me one afternoon, wringing.his large hands the size of dragon wings (if that were a thing in this world) speaking of an encounter he had with an ice cold man... or was it a child? He said he was nine, specificly nine of what he could not say or recall, but the trauma was deep within his mind, or so it seemed, so I didn't stay and pry. He spoke with candor and his sentences had a brevity to them not unlike that of a sailor or a man of the military and I could see that he was very much affected by the events that transpired weeks earlier. While this is not verbatim, the words are his, for better or worse, and so I will leave them as his for solidarity. This is therefore, roughly, what transpired during my client's troubling traumatic and somewhat turbulent trial.


-spam spam, Chinese landmower over landowner find you! Spam-

The Juggernaut: "Do you not know who I am?"

-spam spam, browser fetal Columbia mark II odious NOW! spam spam.

The Juggernaut: "Zap yo dumb ****"

-deleted-

The Juggernaut: "I'm the..."

-spam spam, eye **** words as weapons you dairy juggs smells! Spam-

The Juggernaut: "Silly ****, your weapons cannot harm me."

-spam spam, wheelchair man unexplored space psychics low low! spam-

The Juggernaut:"Charles, get outta my head Charles"

-spam spam, dog bat bird other female forced! Spam-

The Juggernaut: "Ohh its time"

-deleted-

The Juggernaut:"Pimp smack yo ****"

-deleted-

-spam spam, flag on high invincible Jamaican colors pact! Spam spam-

The Juggernaut: "I crush him with ma hand"

-deleted-

-spam spam, commence explosion dodging train beard excitement for all! Spam-

The Juggernaut: "Calm your beard"

-spam spam, weak realized treefrog batteries are always area finest! Spam-
-spam spam, mother's mustard sauce ketchup farm to .go ahoy! Spam-

The Juggernaut: "Gonna be a ****in' **** party"
-deleted-
-deleted-
-deleted-

-spam spam, Willy wonka laffy taffy gobstopper nerd father of course! Spam-

The Juggernaut: "Laffy taffy mutha*****"

-deleted-

-spam spam, ball lick kitty crack open beaver snakebitten forever for god! Spam-

The Juggernaut: "Are you an ****?

-deleted-

-spam spam, can't capture jubilant raincoats running escape artists but docile! Spam spam-

The Juggernaut: "I like.your raincoat; you can't run."

-spam spam, escaped aardvark farms eat Colgate women hampers! Spam-

the Juggernaut: "Juuuugggs gottcchhhaaa"
-deleted-
-deleted-

The Juggernaut: "These spammers are Colgate to the Juggernaut; I think I broke my pimp cane"

*Meanwhile, at the danger room (that's what they call thier workplace)*

IceIX: what happened to all the spam? And who is this guy and why is he a mod?

The Juggernaut: "He must not know who I am."

IceIX: time to.nerf.this in th-... nip this in the bud.
-The Juggernaut has been changed from moderator to member-

The Juggernaut: "MY helmet! Best to not f*** with the Juggernaut"

IceIX: cursing?
-The Juggernaut has been banned for 7 days-

*5 minutes later*

Juggsmentday: "Imma beat yo ****"

IceIX: I guess some ppl can't take a hint.

Juggsmentday: "hey waitwhat are you doing"

-Juggsmentday has been IP banned-

IceIX: mmm, that guy was persistent. Wonder who it was. Disgruntled mod maybe? Wonder how he got .mod status anyway...

*4 weeks later*

IceIX: been a while since I was on the for...um..um...hmm. 282 unread pms. ..... I hate *skip* you.Su * skip* why don't *skip* could you *skip* ..... oh, this looks interesting.

*reads: Juggsy*

"But I'm the Juggeeerrnnaaauutt Biiittccchh"

IceIX: I feel like that had context 4 weeks ago....but....yea I got nothin.

-DELETES-

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