The Great Miles Morales & Eddie Brock Rivalry

Tatercat

The Great Miles Morales (Ultimate Spider-man) / Eddie Brock (Classic Venom) Rivalry

Eddie: Ah ssssssSpiderman, now we’ve caught you unaware and you’ll finally paaaayyyy for what you di- hey wait a minute.”

Miles: My God, Conrad Marcus! The symbiote monster who’s rampage led to the death of my mother!

Eddie: Wait – what? Parker, is that you? Who’s Conrad Mar-

Miles: Take that!

Eddie: Did you just tap our head -AAAAAOOOW! What the -!? Did you just run across a carpet or something?

Miles: Uh, its my venom blast. It usually stuns people, are you not feeling that-

Eddie: Your WHAT blast?!

Miles: Um, my um, venom-

Eddie: Is this a joke? Look, who ARE you? You’re not Parker!

Miles: I’m Spider-Man

Eddie: You are NOT Spider-man. We know Spiderman, he’s like a foot taller than you.

Miles: Is there someone else here? You keep referring to yourself as we….

Eddie: We're Venom! There’s two of us! Eddie Brock and the symbiote, joined in hate for Peter Parker! How do you not know us? We’re Spiderman’s greatest enemy!

Miles: Oh, I thought that was Norman Osborn.

Eddie: The Goblin?! That clown! We know Spider-Man’s true identity! He’s never safe from ussssss. We’ve confronted Peter Parker at his very home!

Miles: Yeah Osborn did that too. They died fighting each other.

Eddie: Wha-WHAT? Parker is DEAD?

Miles: It was all over the news. It’s what made me become the new Spider-Man.

Eddie: How could he do this to us? To our beautiful hate?

Miles: Oh hey, you’re from that other universe, aren’t you?

Eddie: What?

Miles: There’s alternate universe with people that occasionally show up here. Where Spider-Man is still Peter Parker and alive, Tony Stark quit drinking, and the Hulk doesn’t eat people. Sound familiar?

Eddie: Yesssss! Yes, that sounds right! Oh lord, is this one of those crisis, end of the universe things going on again?

Miles: I think one’s starting up. Why do you hate your Peter Parker anyway?

Eddie: He ruined us, destroyed our lives. He discredited our, I mean, my newspaper story, costing me my job at the paper! He dragged the symbiote from it’s home across the galaxy and dumped it here because – What? Why are you looking like at us like that?

Miles: YOU were a reporter?

Eddie: Yes, before we joined in beautiful hate. What of it?

Miles: You’re built like Brock Lesner. Did you cover sports?

Eddie: No we didn’t cover sports- we mean Eddie! I mean me! I was the crime beat! I uncovered injustice -

Miles: Eddie Brock! Now I remember! Gwen Stacy said he used to have the symbiote here too. He was just a lab student though. And a creep, according to Gwen. I think he’s dead over here.

Eddie: Gwen Stacy? The one the Goblin killed?

Miles: Nah he never did that here, but she did die. And came back. And was this red symbiote for a while, they don’t talk about it much-

Eddie: Please stop talking. (Holds head) You know how we get back?

Miles: Probably something going on by the Baxter Building or the Triskelian. That where it usually is. Hey can I ask you something?

Eddie: What?

Miles: You’re no longer doing the hissing & drooling stuff and your tongue is no longer waving around. Was that the symbiote doing that?

Eddie: Oh that’s just for effect. We have an image to maintain, we’re the bigger , meaner, stronger version of Spider-man, you know.

Miles: Like Sabertooth is to Wolverine?

Eddie: Sigh. Yes, but we look cooler on T-shirts. You know, this universe doesn’t seem to have as many heroes, maybe we should stay here instead of going back –

Miles: Our Hulk eats people.

Eddie: - but why end such a beautiful hatred? Baxter Build still downtown? Right. Well, it was terrible meeting you. (Swinging off)

Miles: (Calling after) You know Peter is going to kick your butt again, right?

Eddie: We hope Galactus eats your whole stupid cosplaying planet!